This week in one of my classes, we were asked to create a “Self-Portrait” using any medium–whether that may be through a collage, a photograph, a letter/written reflection, or through visual art–that captures where we are mentally at the current moment. I used watercolor, ballpoint pen, and sharpie for mine. I remember how difficult it was to try to capture my mental space in a drawing. To be honest, I wasn’t sure how I felt. Beginning college life through Zoom felt unfamiliar and indefinite–it feels like my high school life has received no closure and that I’m holding my breath, waiting for my college chapter to “officially” begin.
It feels like life is on pause at the moment. It feels like an “in-between lives” of sorts. It feels like time itself is confused, unsure of whether it would be more comforting to continue passing without our knowledge or to briefly settle and allow us to adapt before taking off again.
I tried to communicate the confusion through the variety of art materials that normally aren’t seen together. I freehanded everything on the page, allowing myself to explore different styles and training myself to embrace the uncertainty. Any sense of “normal” life was uprooted like the tree and directionless like the jumbled paper planes.
The fish swimming toward the blue water current reminds me to be resilient. The chamomile represents channeling energy through adversity. May they give you strength to endure and find peace in change.