Are you looking for the all-American boy next door? A future accountant? A man with a sophisticated palate and a hatred of birds? If so, you’ve come to the right place. And if Jennifer Lawrence doesn’t respond to his persistent advances (and I honestly don’t see why she wouldn’t), Bobby might even be in the market for a formal date! All applicants must have a nice smile, love dogs, and be smart enough to appreciate his sense of humor. Bonus points if you’re not a blonde, girl version of Bobby that could pass for his Scandinavian twin. Because that’s just confusing for everyone involved.
Name: Bobby Stanell.
Year: Junior.
Hometown: Bradenton, FL.
Major: Accounting.
On-Campus Activities: Sigma Chi, Books and Basketball, and hanging out with kids at the women’s safe house.
Favorite animal: Tiger. I had an imaginary pet tiger when I was little.
Least favorite animal? Any type of bird. I have a vendetta against all birds. Whenever I’m in a restaurant that serves ostrich (which has been twice in my life) I make sure to order it. I wish I could order it in bulk just to boost demand. I’ve been attacked by too many birds in my lifetime…
What did you want to be when you grew up? I’m pretty sure I just wanted to be my dad so I guess I wanted to be an accountant. My dad’s always been my best friend.
Secret talents? Uh I’m double jointed…but that might be more of a birth defect than a talent. But what if I told you I could tie a cherry stem with my tongue?
Can you? Nope.
Celebrity girl crush? Jennifer Lawrence. I was gonna tweet at her and invite her to formal until I discovered she didn’t have a Twitter…so I guess I’ll have to ask her old fashioned way. With lots and lots of fan mail.
Celebrity boy crush? Justin Timberlake. He’s just the man and every time he’s on SNL it just reiterates how cool he is.
Favorite movie? I don’t wanna be cliché but I do love the Harry Potter movies. And The Town. Because Jeremy Renner would be my other celebrity boy crush…
First thing you notice in a girl? Looks wise? Teeth! I mean smile – don’t say teeth. Are you gonna make me sound weird?
Personality wise? I don’t know if it’s a personality trait but someone who genuinely thinks I’m funny.
Biggest turn offs? Cattiness, shallowness, being too cool to laugh at my jokes….
What’s your dealbreaker? If she hates dogs. I could NEVER be with someone who hates dogs.
Blondes or brunettes? I definitely go through phrases. But I feel like I have to date brunettes sometimes. Because when I date blondes people usually assume we’re related.