This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Waseda chapter.
From the corner of a cozy cafe, I gaze out the window at passers-by clad in warm scarves, maneuvering around the maze of umbrellas. The door slides open and the chilly air rushes in. A guy with blonde hair quickly orders his drink and makes his way towards my table. After having settled down in his seat, he takes a sip of his black coffee and greets me with a pleasant smile. Christoffer, a native of Gothenburg, Sweden, admits he’s quite surprised to be labeled as a “cutie”, favoring a more humble perspective of himself. Modesty aside though, this SILS student has that “cool kid” aura that has garnered him numerous modeling projects in the city. But after a cup of coffee (or two, in his case), you’ll be surprised to find that Chris is more like an old-soul than anything.
A resident of Tokyo for over three years already, Christoffer reminisces of his first encounter with the country. “When I first came here everything felt amazing.”
But after experiencing life in Japan, he says his perspective has changed as he now sees the good and bad sides of society here.
“Well, more so the bad (laughs). but the reason why I sometimes find myself complaining is because I care.”
When asked what he finds himself complaining about the most, he replies, “Mostly, it’s the classic case of gender inequality. Sweden isn’t exactly a 100% gender equal country (we’re still struggling) but I think we’re doing pretty well compared to other countries. Coming to Japan, there’s so many things that will blow your mind as a Swede, and there are so many predetermined gender roles that men and women are expected to follow.”
He also says he was shocked at the lack of English abilities despite Tokyo being dubbed as an international city. “I always thought that Tokyo is one of the ‘world capitals’ along with London, New York, and Paris, so it’s really surprising that almost no one speaks English. It also surprised me how friendly people here are—everyone says that about Japanese people, but it’s true.”
Basing off first impressions, Chris seems like the type of chap who spends his free time in trendy neighborhoods like Daikanyama or Shimokitazawa. But his answer comes as a surprise.
“Well I love Shinjuku—I don’t really know why a lot of people don’t like Shinjuku. I guess because it’s…”
“Crowded?”
He laughs and adds, “Yeah and some people even go as far as to say it’s “dangerous” but to me, Shinjuku feels like the ‘real’ Tokyo. Shibuya, there’s too many young people but in Shinjuku, you have everything from cool jazz bars, to Kabukicho, to fancy hotels and nice restaurants. I just think it’s a nice mix of everything that Tokyo has to offer.”
Aside from exploring the vast and chaotic area of Shinjuku, Chris explains that he’s quite the cinephile. Just to give him a hard time, I ask him for his favorite film.
“I can’t say one—it depends on my mood. I can’t pick just one, it’s too difficult. But there’s always going to be some movies that are always gonna stick. For example, I think Casablanca is a great movie. It’s one of those movies that you can watch again and again. Other than watching a lot of movies, I guess I drink a lot (laugh). I don’t really have one thing that I do often; I like to try new things. But as far as things that I always enjoy—music and film definitely.”
“What kind of music?”
“Again, depends on my mood really. I always find myself listening to bossa nova whether I’m studying, drinking, whatever—I love bossa nova and jazz. I like music that acts as a soundtrack to my life. Whenever I’m walking around Tokyo, I like to listen to instrumental music. And when I listen to music with lyrics, I like lyrics that tell a story. A lot of people don’t listen to the lyrics but they should. In order for me to consider a song as great, it needs to have great lyrics and I need to be able to listen to it from start to finish.”
Intrigued by this revelation, I ask Chris for his recommendation.
“I like Genesis…I’m going to get stamped as this old dude for saying I like Genesis (laugh). Also, if I had to choose my favorite song of all time, it would be The Girl from Ipanema by Frank Sinatra and Antonio Carlos Jobim. It’s awesome—sad and beautiful at the same time.”
Note: Really do take his word and give it a listen. You won’t regret it.
By this time of the conversation, I figured it was now socially acceptable to ask about dating and his love life. First things first, what kind of girl does he fancy?
“I guess honesty is the most important thing—like not being afraid of saying how she truly feels even though it might be bad, like complaining about my behavior. I think that’s important— that you know each other’s weaknesses and are able to share everything with each other. I feel like in Japan, guys can talk about some stuff with their male friends and other things with their girlfriends, but I’d like to share everything with my girlfriend because when you spend a lot of time together, you need to have that kind of trust.”
Having said all that about honesty, it’s understandable what he doesn’t want in a girl. “When a girl is trying to be someone she’s not is the biggest turn off for me,” he says.
“In Japan, I guess it’s considered unfeminine for girls to speak there mind. But in order for Japan to move forward in terms of equality, I think it’s important for girls to be themselves. Because a lot of times, you can tell that what a person says is not really coming from the heart— she’ll probably say what’s expected of her instead of how she really feels. For me, honesty is very important.”
“I’m sure Swedish girls are MUCH different compared to Japanese girls so what do you find charming about Japanese that you usually don’t see in Swedish girls?”
“That’s a good question. Japanese girls are very mindful of small things. I think most Swedish girls, they don’t care about the small details—its not very important; whereas I’m very impressed that Japanese girls are able to perceive the smallest things—they’re very observant. I’d also say that one that really me, because in Sweden the whole drinking thing, even though Swedes drink a lot, we usually only drink on weekends. It’s still a bit of a taboo, whereas in Japan, I’ve been surprised that a lot of times it’s the girl who says ‘Let’s go for a beer’.”
When asked what his ideal date would be like, Chris gives a sheepish grin and admits his dislike for planning dates. “I’m a very flexible guy—I don’t like to be tied down by a time schedule, so I wouldn’t say we would go to dinner here first and then go to another place next. I would rather just decide to meet at a certain place and just talk and get to know each other and then hopefully we’ll find out that we have a common interest and based on that, we can decide together what we want to do next.”
“I love that kind of adventurous spontaneity. Let’s say you both like jazz—then if one of you knows a good jazz bar, you both can go there next. And then while talking there, you might find out something new about each other. Or if you have a movie that you both want to see, you could go to the movies afterwards. I think the spur of the moment is what makes a date fun.”