Over the years, the phrase “Oh wow! Look at him! He’s 6ft2 and reads feminist literature” has become a sort of personal mantra for me.
I can’t quite pinpoint when or how it snaked its way into my vocabulary, but I do know that there is something satisfying about being able to drop it into conversation. It brings out a sort of primal urge in me to hear a guy state that their favourite song is Chappell Roan’s “Good Luck Babe”, or to witness them order a vanilla iced latte at an independent coffee store. It never holds any malice. To be honest, the hobbies and interests which evoke this phrase in me typically tend to be things which I also enjoy. Sure, the phrase might carry some gentle teasing behind it, but it’s mostly an expression of fondness for the shared interest.
It’s probably not surprising then, that recently I have found entertainment in the pop culture fixation on the “performative man”.
The Performative man’s starter pack
“Performative masculinity” is hardly a new concept. The term “performative” has been used to describe a variety of behaviours which perpetuate and reaffirm the gender binary. In this context, performative masculinity refers to actions performed by men in order to comply with conventionally masculine ideals. Think stoicism à la Marcus Aurelius, manspreading on public transport, or ordering a pint rather than a cosmo.
In recent times, however, this phrase has received new life, through the trend of the archetypal “performative man”. Unlike “performative masculinity”, this term refers to men who consciously align themselves with the interests of queer and female communities, often in an attempt to pander and attract their positive attention.
If you have spent any time online, you will absolutely know the type. Fleabag watchers who dedicate hours to their intricate letterboxed reviews, flaunting their newfound knowledge of the intricacy of female relationships. Clairo listeners (obviously on vinyl or, as a last resort, through wired ear buds) who kneel in front of their shrine dedicated to women’s rights. Perhaps most importantly in the “performative male” starter pack, the public readers, flaunting their feminist literature in cafes. ‘The Bell Jar’ anyone?
Even if they don’t embody this caricature to its extremes, we have all had the pleasure, or perhaps displeasure, of meeting someone like this. I myself used to think that the whole “man reading in public to gain female attention” was an exaggerated trope. That was until not long ago, the U1 graced me with the sight of this situation. A guy reading his Murakami. Well, reading might be a bit of a generous word. A more accurate description would be that he was holding the book in his lap after digging it out of his tote bag, instead opting to scroll through his phone for the entire journey.
These very interactions are at the heart of the archetype of the “performative man”; the jokes a light jest regarding the genuine nature of male interest.
Authentic or Aesthetic?
As I previously mentioned, I have found myself participating in these jokes. I never intend it with any malice, and perhaps the cultural phenomenon treats it the same way, more so as a symbol of endearment and appreciation, rather than genuine distaste.
Whilst the gendering of interests and hobbies is ludicrous in the first place, sadly it is undeniable that it is an idea perpetuated throughout pop culture. Since childhood, I consistently experienced teachers emphasising my ability in the humanities, despite my pull towards STEM. I guess it worked out – I am now very happily a humanities student, but it nonetheless bothered me that it wasn’t equally encouraged. I mean, why is English for girls in the first place?
And similarly, why should a matcha latte or Laufey NOT be for men?
The interests at the centre of the “performative man” archetype are heavily prominent within female and queer communities, with many of them associated with a more gentle, and introspective approach to life.
It certainly shouldn’t be regarded as a bad thing that men are wishing to engage in interests that allow them to explore this side, and push the boundaries of gender conformity.
Sure, the way in which they attempt this could ring performative, a little superficial and waning when the trends pass. But afterall, who hasn’t hopped on a trend every once in a while? Honestly one of the best things about the internet and pop culture is the ability to learn and communicate with one another
Perhaps i’m a pessimist
I have recently started to sour whenever I see this trend show up for me. I still find the jokes amusing, but there’s a level of discomfort which I am beginning to recognise in myself.
It has always sadly been fashionable to make fun of female and queer hobbies. Twilight, One Direction, even horses (!) caught the short end of the stick when it comes to their perception, as “feminine” hobbies. And it doesn’t seem like there is any sign of this stopping.
Sabrina Carpenter is “basic”, and Stardew Valley is an “easy” cosy game. The arts are “unnecessary” and enjoying makeup makes you “shallow”. These sentiments are sadly, quite commonly perpetuated.
For that very reason, the “performative man” archetype scares me; I am awaiting the moment in which the commodification of female and queer aesthetics turns into genuine distaste for those things.
The focus of these jokes continues to shift. It no longer entirely feels like a mutual gentle appreciation with a gentle jab. It’s turned into a self-irony that feels mocking, centering the hobbies in a way which is beginning to portray them in a more negative light.
In the past, seeing a man disregard his book in favour of scrolling tiktok reels wouldn’t have stood out to me. But with the recent popularisation of the “performative man”, I began to question the intent. Of course it absolutely may, and likely is genuine, but simultaneously, once can never be sure.
I think Pop Culture is shining a light and highlighting genuine anxieties regarding just how fragile female and queer identities really are. I believe it’s only natural to have a strong sense of protectiveness over your interests, and not wish for them to be co-opted with a goal in mind.
Maybe I’m just a pessimist, but I have a feeling I will continue to defend my interests whenever I can.