Next semester, I will be studying abroad. I’ll be living in a foreign country, hours away from home, my family, and any sense of familiarity. Today, I had to fill out some forms about my insurance, so naturally, I called my mom. She told me to call the company myself. It may seem small, but it felt like a shift.
College seems to be the in-between of growing up; I take responsibility for most things in my life, but I still fall back on my parents in ways I’ve always been used to.
I am almost 20 years old. Being a college student comes with a strange phenomenon – you’re on the precipice of adulthood. I make my own decisions, manage most of my finances, and choose how I want to live my life—things that feel undeniably adult. Yet at the same time, I’m still treated like a kid in certain ways.
This summer, I will be interning in New York City. My family will not let me take the subway from Grand Central. They still are on me about my grades, how I manage work/life balance, and I still have to follow their rules. And honestly, that’s not a bad thing—it comes from a place of care. But it does raise a question: are we expected to be adults or children? Or somehow both at once?
That tension is what makes this phase so confusing. There’s no clear line where everything shifts. Instead, it’s a constant back-and-forth.
The ‘in-between’ phase isn’t just about age—it’s about structure, too. In high school, everything is mapped out for you. Yet in college, that path is paved by you, and you only. No one really tells you what to do next. The freedom is exciting, but it’s also a bit unsettling.
Socially, things shift as well. Friendships change, priorities evolve, and people start moving in different directions. Everyone is on a slightly different page. It’s easy to fall into comparison, constantly wondering if you’re doing enough or if you’re somehow behind.
Yet, what’s beautiful about this stage in life is that while it’s most certainly unsettling, it’s also the time when the most growth happens. This is the first time that we really get to decide where we are and push against boundaries. You learn what you value, what you want, and just as importantly, what you don’t. The uncertainty isn’t a sign that something is going wrong; this is a stage that’s meant to be messy and full of change.
I feel the push and pull of this ‘in-between’ phase in almost every part of my life. And while I don’t have it all figured out, I’m starting to realize that maybe that’s the point.