Collegiettes, I’m in a Human Sexuality course right now (big surprise, huh?) and we recently studied the “Exchange Theory.” The theory argues that people act the way they do due to an expectation of fairness and implicit reciprocity. In simpler terms – you give some, you get some in return.
A few weeks ago we tackled the orgasm gap (I hope some of you were able to check the big O off of your bucket list!) and now, we’re going to tackle the oral gap.
*Photo from elitedaily.com.
If receiving oral sex isn’t something that appeals to you, it’s cool. We all have different sexual preferences and comfort levels.
But if you do want some downtown lovin’, chances are you might not be getting it – or enjoying it – as much as you could be. And you know that is NOT okay with me.
See, in 2010, the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior found that the oral sex gap is greatest among heterosexual 20 to 24 year olds, in which only 55 percent of men reported giving oral sex in the past year, in comparison to 74 percent of women who reported giving oral.
So how do we even the playing field? And when you’ve got a willing partner up – or, down – at bat, how do you help him hit a home run?
Here are some tips and tricks for A+ licks:
*Photo from shymagazine.com.
1. Wait and see.
Don’t try to receive oral until you feel 100% ready. It’s a very intimate act, with him all up in your area and such. If you’re feeling antsy or nervous, you won’t be able to enjoy the sensation. Communicate with your partner and ease into it! Make sure to discuss your history and/or know where you stand with possible STDs or STIs.
2. Shut off your brain.
Instead of focusing on what’s actually happening, – “Oh my god, his head is literally in my crotch!” – try to relax. Take a few deep breaths. Close your eyes. Give yourself in to the pleasure.
3. Do it in the dark.
Many women deny oral sex because they’re worried that their kitty isn’t pretty enough. Repeat after me: your vag is awesome and unique. Nonetheless, if you want to appease any insecurity that you may have, keep the lights low.
*Photo from swide.com.
4. Give him a hand!
You could take this literally, or nah. It’s important to realize that he only knows what feels good for you based on how you react and what you tell him. Don’t be afraid to provide some guidance on how fast he should go…and what areas he should focus on!