One of the funny things about alcohol is how it temporarily makes people think they know how to dance. I’ve seen collegiettes who openly lament the fact that they haven’t got a rhythmic bone in their body suddenly transform into Beyoncé after they get a drink or two in them. Coming from a girl who likes to bust a move when I go out, that’s all good and fine…until I see someone I know face down on the dance floor…
So I know dancing isn’t necessarily a “Sex & the Forest” topic per se – but if you’re making it nasty on the dance floor, in front of crowds of partygoers, it’s almost like you’re having sex with your clothes on. I think we all know that dry humping is 1. Not dancing and 2. Not cute in public, but if you’ve got a few drinks in you, you might make a mistake and assume it is.
Well, I’m here to lay it out point blank: there are moves that should be kept behind closed doors, not on the dance floor. Let’s review…
The (Waaaay South) Jersey Turnpike
I don’t want to see girls bent over with their butts in the air and hands on the floor – a move frequently called the Jersey Turnpike. This move raises 2 main concerns, besides the obvious fact that it looks real trashy:
- You’re literally sweeping the filthy, germy frat floor with your fingertips and
- You’re at serious risk for falling flat on your face if you try to get too low (I’ve seen this happen more than once)
The No-Dance Lap Dance
This isn’t a strip club. Keep your legs closed if you’re sitting on a guy and for goodness sake don’t sit facing towards him, wiggle around on his lap and shake your chest in his face. This can be extremely awkward for the people sitting by you who are just trying to chill or wait for a ride. Save it for the bedroom! Just because it’s dark in the frat basement/living room/kitchen doesn’t mean that I can’t see you. Because I can. We all can.
*Image from dailymail.co.uk
Fiddlin’ Fingers
No no no no NO hands under/beneath/up articles of clothing in public. That is just so gross. I don’t even know what to say except EW. Please, keep your hands OVER his pants until you get alone.
Collegiettes, I get it. Miley’s frequent twerking is not always a good influence on us. We all want to cut loose and have fun dancing at parties, but there is a line that should not be crossed. Keep it in mind, please.