Who doesn’t love designer clothes? Don’t get me wrong, I fully admire the girls who can shop at thrift stores and somehow put together an outfit that looks like a thousand bucks. But trust me, even if you are a super crafty/hip collegiette, no one and I mean NO ONE is immune to the mystical powers of a $300 DVF wrap dress.
I’m not a “label horse”, but I like nice things, and I definitely don’t think I’m the only one. Collegiettes, are any of you in the same boat? Do you sometimes see red bottomed Louboutins strutting through your dreams? Do you count Michael Kors watches to help you fall asleep? (1 quartz rosegold…2 quartz rosegold…zzzz)
At the end of the day, I am a “poor starving college student,” so I shop for clothes on a budget (mostly at Forever 21). But in the future, I wouldn’t mind having a closet filled with little LVs (Louis Vuitton, of course!) and upside down triangles (Prada). But why? Why are “labels” so important to me and so many other collegiettes? And how does this label-obsession play out in our love lives?
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Last year I took a Women and Gender’s study class that centered on healthy sex in college. One of the topics we touched on was various relationship “labels”, and what they mean specifically to Wake Forest students. I’m here to share that discussion with you all…
If you guys are “talking”…
One of the most common labels that’s tossed around campus is “talking.” Judging by the verb to talk, you’d guess that a couple using this label is only doing something verbal (texting…fb chatting…), which is possible, but not always the case. “Talking” can be used as a synonym for “interested in.” If a guy and a girl are talking, they may or may not have already gotten physical. If you’re talking to a guy, there’s a wide range of things you could be doing: you could be texting with him, getting lunch occasionally or just planning to go to his frat every weekend. “Talking” is definitely a very vague label, but if you hear it (or use it to describe your current romantic endeavor), it implies you are interested in getting to know him better, either as a friend or potential boyfriend.
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If you guys are “hooking up”…
This is probably the most common label used at Wake. It’s also one that can lead to confusion and miscommunication. Whereas “talking” doesn’t directly suggest getting physical with your guy, hooking up 100% does. If you’re hooking up with someone, it means you’re doing something intimate. The problem with this label is that it doesn’t specify exactly what you are doing. Some collegiettes hear the term “hooking up” and believe it indicates sex, others think of it as more tame, and that it perhaps implies only kissing. For this reason, I would advise collegiettes to remove this label from their vocabulary. Your sexual history is yours only, so throwing around a label like this can lead to misconceptions. Imagine this: you tell your girlfriend that you hooked up with Matt, Mike and Manny during the first month of school. She happens to tell her boyfriend about it. Her boyfriend happens to be good friends with Mike and tells him. Mike liked you a lot and feels betrayed, so out of spite tells his entire fraternity about everyone you’ve “hooked up” with. BAM: Suddenly you’re that girl. In reality, all you did was briefly kiss the three M’s on the dance floor and tell your friend! Wouldn’t it be easier to just say that instead?!
If you guys are “together”…
This label is a tricky one. It’s almost a way to chicken out of the “boyfriend/girlfriend” label and use the word “together” instead. If you’re together, you’re almost exclusive…but not quite ready to take the plunge. This could mean you’re not Facebook official (gasp!) or you haven’t had a conversation defining your relationship yet. I’m wary of this label because it can sometimes be an excuse to keep a partner on the backburner while hooking up with other people…aka leading someone on. If you two are “together”, you really should have that conversation about where you want your relationship to go in the future.
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So why no boyfriend/girlfriend labels?
Collegiettes, consider Beyoncé’s anthem “Single Ladies.” Well, if he likes it…then he should put a label on it. And I’m talking about the first and foremost label of all: GIRLFRIEND. If you’ve been talking to a guy, getting lunch or dinner frequently, experimenting with being intimate, and often find yourself getting asked “are you two dating?” it kind of sounds to me like you are.
So why are deac dudes so hesitant to use THIS label instead of the three mentioned above? Probably because it means making a true commitment. And I say if he’s not ready to commit, he’s definitely not the “designer” companion you want to help build your dream closet! NEXT!