Collegiettes – I’m no history buff, but I did learn a thing or two about the Civil War in middle school. America…divided in two: North vs. South. Pride on the line. Although the southerners and the northerners seem to be on better terms now (I mean, look at all the students at Wake who are from New Jersey…), I’ve come to discover we may still be divided by one subject: Men.
You don’t have to be from the South to be familiar with the stereotype of a “Southern Gentleman.” Most collegiettes have probably thrown the phrase around once or twice whilst trying to describe their “ideal” man. Equipped with accents thicker than honey (or Pit hummus), it’s pretty much a given that most women find SGs irresistible.
Though I may have taken a cheap shot at NJ in the first paragraph, truth be told, it’s my home state. I’m also not particularly partial to boys in bowties, and I find the word “ya’ll” (Is ya’ll even a word?), well, annoying. Yet at the same time, I can admit that there is something about pastel-wearing, sexy-drawling super-Southern boys that even I can’t help but admire.
So for the sake of science (not really) and all the readers of Sex and the Forest, I will attempting to dissect this particular brand of gentleman. I think I’ve narrowed it down to three distinct behaviors and qualities…
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1. A Southern Gentleman holds the door.
Having worked as an intern in New York City, I’m used to having doors slammed in my face. Lucky for me, I discovered that a Southern Gentlemen was taught to hold the door open for a lady. Every time a boy holds the door open for me at Wake, my heart melts. It’s a behavior typical of a Southern Gentleman, because it shows politeness and consideration.
2. A Southern Gentleman says ‘Hello’ and ‘How Are You’ (and means it).
I don’t really have anything against the guys who prefer to greet me with a head tilt and a “sup” (though my guess is their awkward greetings stem from equally awkward hook-ups..) But I will admit, at the same time I feel a bit disappointed by their lackluster salutations. A Southern Gentleman, on the other hand, actually says hello (even if, gasp, you’ve already had an awkward hook-up with him in the past!) And not just the entire word hello…the SG follows with your name, and a genuine question about how you’re doing. This greeting is so much more personal, and adds a certain level of warmth in passing. Clear Southern Gentleman behavior.
3. A Southern Gentleman kisses…but doesn’t tell.
If you’ve had an intimate experience with an SG, chances are it’s going to remain an intimate experience. That is, he’s not going to blab about it to his boys, brothers, or anyone with two ears and five minutes to listen. An SG has enough respect and sensitivity to keep his sex life on the DL.
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When it comes down to it, a Southern Gentlemen gets his good rep for being polite, warm and respectful. I guess the accent doesn’t hurt either, as long as he doesn’t say “ya’ll” too many times….
The thing is, at the end of the day, the SG stereotype really is just that. It’s a broad characterization of men that sometimes holds true, and sometimes, well, doesn’t. Not all men from the South are gentlemen. And there ARE respectful men from the North who will hold the door for you! (At least, there are rumors they will…)
So if you meet a guy you like at Wake, forget about the Civil War unit you studied in seventh grade: ignore his home state and his possible accent. If you find he possesses the qualities mentioned in 1-3, he IS a Gentleman, Southern or otherwise. Even if he happens to be rocking a backwards Yankee’s hat instead of a bowtie…