“Heyyy…what r u wearing? Send me a sexy pic…plzzz lol ;)”
Collegiettes, take a second to gather your lost brain cells and look closely at the sentence above (if you can even call it a sentence…). No, it is not a typo. No, it is not a joke. No, it is not copied and pasted from some creepy internet chat room (I promise I don’t go in those…).
It is a text. An actual text that I received from a boy. Can you believe it? Well, probably. But would you believe that it is only one among the hundreds that I used to receive when I was only thirteen years old?
Today, seven years later, I still get these same texts (thankfully the spelling has improved a little bit). And though I tote around an iPhone instead of the pink RAZR I loved so much in middle school, I still feel the same way each time I get one. On one hand, I feel special and desirable. A little voice in my head says “Wow! I must be pretty damn hot if this guy wants a picture of me.”
But at the same time, I feel grossed out and insulted. Another little voice in my head has doubts: “Does he think I’m easy? Does he think I’ll just do whatever he asks? Ew, no way I’m sending it now…what a jerk!” The truth of the matter is that sometimes the former voice wins out, and sometimes the latter. I’m here to discuss how to handle both…
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How to send a picture…making it as “appropriate” as possible
Sending a sexy picture can be intimate and fun, if you’re sending it to someone you trust. This can especially be true of a long distance relationship, since being physical is literally impossible when you’re hours away.
If you do choose to surprise your boy with a photo, or affirm his request for a pic, make sure you keep in mind the risks that go along with this decision. Any time you send a suggestive photo, there is no guarantee that it will be seen by your guy’s eye’s only. Nude photos spread like wildfire, and you don’t want to get caught in the flames. If you have to question if your guy will A) send the photo to his friends to show off, B) be stupid and post the photo somewhere public like Facebook (um hello…EMPLOYERS can see that!) or C) possibly send around the photo out of spite if/when you guys break up, DO NOT take the chance!
Sending a sexy picture should be something that brings you two closer, not something that keeps you up at night worrying about who else may see your VS Bombshell Bra. So follow the golden rule: don’t show your face! That way, even if the photo does get into the wrong hands, you’ll have some protection. You can even make it fun, and get creative with angles and mirrors.
Bottom line? If you get a text from any Joe Schmoe requesting to see you nude, odds are it’s probably not a good idea to give him what he wants. But if you are in a trusting, intimate relationship and choose to send a pic, make sure it’s mysterious enough to um, leave something to the imagination…
And that means your face.
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How to decline…in the least awkward way possible
Collegiettes, though the aforementioned Joe Schmoe may skeeve you out a bit, you might still feel pressure to honor his request for a picture of you. Maybe you like the guy, and are worried if you say no he won’t like you back. Maybe you’re scared of retribution: he could call you a prude or a tease.
Well listen up collegiettes: if this guy decides to stop liking you because you won’t send him a picture, he’s clearly only interested in one thing (sex), and is not worth your precious time. If he stoops to the level of name calling, that further proves that point. Please don’t take his immaturity to heart: you are NOT prudish because you won’t send a random dude a nude pic! Trust me.
At the end of the day, you owe no one a nude picture, and always have the right to say no. Plus, there are ways to say no while still keeping the convo flirty and fun. A simple response of “I look better in person!” or “Sorry, you’ll have to wait and see!” can be just as sexy as a pic.
Oh, collegiettes. To sext or not to sext? That is the question. If you do choose to send a picture of yourself, be smart and safe (and faceless). If you choose not to, remember there’s nothing wrong with that either! Ultimately, the answer is up to you.