Trust me, I know, the last thing anyone wants to hear is relationship advice from a girl who has been single for the past 18 years of her life. In all honesty, I try hard not to encroach on the love lives of others; however, for the past few years, I have witnessed, what I assumed were great, relationships fail. These relationships did not fail because both parties wanted different things in life or because they were growing apart; they failed because neither parties took the time to listen to what the other had to say. So before I share my two cents, I just want to be clear: I am not here to tell you how to date your current or future SO. I am simply here to advise you to consider what I am about to say the next time you choose to date or feel as though the two of you are “growing apart.”
Put yourself first.
I do not need to be in a relationship to tell you that this is a hard task to accomplish. Love yourself and treat yourself with all the respect you deserve. Don’t confide in others to fill a personal void. You are your own cheerleader. In addition to cheering yourself on, do not be afraid to tell your SO what you need out of the relationship– that is not selfish. As many already know, putting yourself first comes hand in hand with giving each other space. It is one thing to be clingy and it is another to be present, so it is your job to determine and discuss this difference with your significant other. Lastly, make sure all your needs are met before trying to fulfill the needs of others. Nothing is worse than putting your whole heart and soul into something only to receive nothing in return. You always come first.
Communication is key.
You will never get anywhere in life if you do not advocate for yourself. People are not going to sit around and try to decipher how you’re feeling. A person can only understand your nonverbal cues to a certain extent, so you are going to have to meet them half way and verbally express your likes and dislikes. Tell them how much you appreciate them or that you do not like it when they attempt to dictate what you can and cannot do. Be honest and avoid sugar coating things. Strong relationships are built on honesty and acceptance. You got this, I believe in you!
Learn to feel at home.
This is your significant other we are talking about. He or she will potentially become your best friend, or, if you are lucky, he or she is already your best friend. Do not feel the need to hide your true self because you are afraid of what they think. Believe me, if they were embarrassed by the fact that you can eat an entire pizza by yourself or that you enjoy running around and acting like a fool they would not be with you— so go ahead and be yourself. They LOVE it.
HAVE FAITH IN YOUR PARTNER
I’ll start by asking: why be in a relationship if you do not trust the person? There is no time for the “he/she cannot go to parties without me because so and so will be there.” What is this, some Hollywood drama? I hope you are in a relationship where you feel secure enough to let your other half be independent. If this is not the case, go back and reflect on numbers 1-3 because no relationship is worth unnecessary stress. You should not feel the need to question your partner’s every move because you think they are incapable of making smart decisions. Let each other live— I promise it won’t hurt.
“A healthy relationship is one where two independent people just make a deal that they will HELP make the other person the best version of themselves.” – Unknown
Now go out there and utilize your favorite single girl’s advice! Good luck!
Photos courtesy of:
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