I am no longer in France. Last week, I packed my suitcase(s) one final time in my room in Dijon, kissed my host parents goodbye, and watched the town that had been my home for the past four months get smaller and smaller behind my train.
It sounds depressing, and, honestly, it was. When many students go abroad, they go to a big city on the other side of the Earth. They travel to fantasy destinations every weekend. They save up their cash to blow it on clothes, food, drinks, and cover charges. They live with their best friends in exotic places and have the time of their lives.
For others, myself included, they settle into a home with a completely new family from an entirely different culture. They travel around, yes, and they spend all that hard earned cash on souvenirs, too. But many of them aren’t with their best friends; they have to make new ones. They have to speak a different language and might not live in the grandest city in Europe. They also have the time of their lives.
Abroad is not black and white. Every experience is different, so I am not reducing all of my peers to two categories. But I certainly noticed the differences of immersion amongst all of us abroad, and I think those that were less immersed really missed out on something more profound. I hope you will take this advice to truly, fully immerse yourself, should you go abroad.
What do I mean by immerse? Well, for me that foundation lay in living with my host family, but I know this is not possible for every program. Somehow, someway, you need to form a deeper bond with the other culture, and this usually comes with proximity or friendship.
Make an effort to get to know someone from the other culture. Speak to them in their language. This will require a lot of humility. People are not always going to be incredibly nice. This isn’t the product of a culture; it’s probably the condition of a person’s day. A person is more likely, however, to open up to you if you are clearly making an effort with them. I spent the greatest chunk of time in France just talking to my host parents. I asked them all sorts of random questions, and these led to longer conversations and new knowledge I hadn’t even imagined gaining.
My other sense of immersion came in walking. I avoided public transport because you can walk everywhere in Europe, within reason. (Also my bus came infrequently, and I can’t stand waiting out in the cold, LOL.) I spent hours walking across town and discovering cool new boulangeries and taking pictures of the little things, like the doors on houses or a little square, lost to the public.
I got lost, and I found my way back home. I once randomly walked by a fruit shop and ended up talking to the owner for an hour and a half. He was from Senegal and told me he was “unsurprised” by the outcome of the American election. He told about his studies in France and asked me about my thoughts on life there. If I hadn’t immersed myself, I wouldn’t have this memory of connecting with someone from a place so far from my home with whom I shared a mutual experience of assimilating into a new culture.
I once spend two hours lost in Paris, only to stumble out onto Les Invalides and the Seine. I was all alone, but I saw lives of people who weren’t tourists. I listened to conversations and noticed accents. I escaped the bubble of the perfect Parisian image. I also spend a weekend on a cow farm in a tiny village in Switzerland, because a girl who spent two weeks with my host family (see “Lessons from My Host Sister”) and I formed such a close bond, that she kindly invited me to her home. That is immersion.
Finally, when I left France, I felt like I was being dropped off by my parents at college all over again. I was leaving something that felt like it had become my home. I didn’t know when I’d see any of the people or the city again. It was heartbreaking, despite excitement, knowing I would see my dogs and family in 12 hours. I don’t regret the sadness my depart brought me, because it affirmed my goal to be fully immersed. I was deeply connected to another culture, and I hope anyone who goes abroad establishes the same goal: Faire des liens.
Photos courtesy of Isabelle Vail
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