Well, we made it: senior year. I know we are all sick of hearing it (and I am sick of saying it) but last year was definitely not what we expected it to be. Everyone struggled in their own way adjusting to going back to college in a pandemic. For my fellow seniors, most of us were supposed to be abroad last fall. We all had planned to study in our respective cities (I would have been in Vienna), meeting up in different places each weekend. Beyond that, though, we were coming back to a college experience that was flipped over completely. After two years of constant fun and what now seems like no rules, the Wake that we came back to last August was completely unfamiliar. It was an adjustment, for sure. With all of the challenges that last year posed, though, there are too many silver linings to count. Last year was my hardest so far, both academically and mentally, but it also was nothing short of another heart-wrenchingly amazing year at Wake Forest. I have always expressed my love for Wake Forest by calling it “Heaven on Earth.” And even though “Heaven” looked a lot different last year, my feelings have not changed. As my senior year begins, I wanted to share some lessons I took away from looking back on our unique, but amazing, junior year.
- No one is really sure of what they’re doing
Last year, I was consumed with this nagging thought that I was behind everyone else. I had this idea in my head that, because I am 21 years old, I had to have everything mapped out for the next ten years of my life. Spoiler alert: I did not and still do not. However, I felt like everyone else did have their lives figured out and that I was behind. I constantly found myself spiraling into states of self-doubt, feeling like I would never figure it out, and worrying that I would end up unemployed and living at home at the age of 30. This fear was only intensified by the changes that the pandemic brought. But in all honesty, I have realized that the preconceived notion that I had in my head that I was the only one who didn’t have it figured out was so wrong. No one really has it all figured out. Plans, hopes, and aspirations? Sure. But no one knows what they are doing. And that is okay!! Life is full of curveballs, some the size of global pandemics, and no one has it all under control and figured out.
- I am more resilient than I thought… and so is everyone
Junior year was a year of change, which I have never ever dealt well with. And there is no change quite like the ones that stem from a global pandemic. But there is something really amazing about looking back on last year and seeing how my friends, my loved ones, and I adapted to all of the changes. Everyone struggled with these major life changes in their own way. As someone who has self-diagnosed herself as having “change anxiety,” I am very proud of the way that I have dealt with all the change that has happened over the past year and a half. It has reminded me that I am much more resilient than I give myself credit for.
- Self-care is a priority, not a privilege
Before last year, I thought that taking time for myself was something that I could only do if and only if I had extra time and had no other responsibilities to take care of. Now, though, I know that taking time to reconnect with myself, whether it be by journaling, going on a walk, listening to music, or watching my favorite show, needs to be a priority, not a reward. Being able to take care of yourself mentally is just as important as doing well on an exam or finishing an assignment early. Of course, school and other responsibilities are important, but last year has taught me that success in academics, etc. does not necessarily matter if I am not taking care of myself along the way.
- This too shall pass
Ah, yes… the old cliché. In the moment, when things are not going well, the light at the end of the tunnel seems distant (too many clichés?) Maybe you are having your third breakdown of the week, maybe you did not earn the grade you wanted on your latest statistics exam, maybe you are fed up with COVID restrictions and desperately want life to be back to normal. I know that I felt all of these things, and much more, more times than I can count last year. But looking back on it now, the heightened negative emotions that I felt countless times throughout my junior year were only temporary. (I honestly do not even remember that statistics test I mentioned). Little things can feel debilitating and life-ruining in the moment, but it is so crucial to be mindful of their impermanence. Another great example of this phenomenon is the fact that the state of the pandemic is getting so much better. Life feels like it is slowly edging back to normal. Something that felt so incessant is finally changing for the better.
- There is always a silver lining
At the risk of sounding so repetitive, last year was like nothing we had ever experienced. If it were a normal junior year, I would have been in Europe with all of my best friends studying abroad in the fall. I would have come back in the spring for events like Wake ‘n Shake, sorority date functions and formals, Spring Break, philanthropy events, and so many other events that have made my experience at Wake unbelievably fantastic over the past years. The most important thing that I learned from my junior year, though, is that while these events were so much fun and special, they are not what made Wake “Heaven on Earth.” Rather, it was the people that I was with that made them so special: friends that I know I will have for a lifetime. *cue the tears* Before the pandemic, our college life was consumed with elaborate plans with friends. But now, going on a walk around campus or having a socially distanced movie night with your best girlfriends on a Friday night is just as meaningful as a weekend trip or sorority formal. Last year was not what we expected (or even wanted at all), but, at the risk of inserting another cliché (I promise this is my last), it taught me that it is not what you do, but who you do it with.