Last week, my TikTok FYP was flooded with videos of women agreeing with the now-infamous British Vogue article published in late October. The article raised the question: Is having a boyfriend is considered embarrassing now? It mentioned the days, not too long ago, when girls with influence on social media based their entire presence on their relationships. But, with the termination of those relationships, came the forced remodel of their entire digital identity.
The article argues that to avoid such a drastic identity crisis, women now choose to avoid posting their men altogether. They post “soft launches” by not revealing the boyfriend’s face or editing the man out of the post entirely.
I think the concern is less about whether having a boyfriend is something to be embarrassed about and more about how a woman wants to be perceived in this modern age- an age where women have more room to be whoever they want.
Right now, women are deciding to use social media as a tool to showcase their independence. By not posting their boyfriend (or by posting him the same way they would a nice handbag they just bought and want to show off), they are actively saying to the world: “Here I am, I am more than just a girlfriend! And, what’s a boyfriend got to do with any of this, anyway?”
They are looking around at their place in society and realizing they possess the opportunity to present their relationship as less of an “Oh looky this is my boyfriend, I can’t do anything without him,” and more of a “Here is my boyfriend, whom I love, but is only one portion of my wonderful, busy life.”
Women are finally making womanhood about being a woman, rather than being with a boy.