Every fraternity on campus kicks themselves when Sigma Chi’s annual Derby Days event rolls around each spring. No, they don’t care about the fact that the bros get to host a bada** concert, or field events like “mackerel slap” and jousting. The real reason Derby Days gets most frat-stars down? Only “Machis” will get to oogle the fine Panhellenic women as they shake and shimmy on stage at the Millennium Center this coming Tuesday night. Airbands is an event where girls from every sorority on campus choreograph a scintillating dance, wear skimpy clothing, and vie for the affections of the chosen Sigma Chi judges. Maybe pledging does pay off in the end…
As much as the men of Sigma Chi love to watch the ladies dance, and enjoy the entertainment and notoriety the event brings their fraternity, I would venture to say that the sororities involved love it even more. And why wouldn’t they? You can’t argue that feeling like a sexy chick is awesome. Airbands promotes this sentiment by encouraging cut-up shirts or pinnies, and spandex. Always spandex. For those girls not on the dance team, the opportunity to provactively dance for an audience with no consequences is rare. However, this Tuesday night, that all changes when the lovely Panhell ladies will shake it, sh-shake it, shake it like a Polaroid picture.
Of course, another reason ‘sratstars’ love this comical event is the inevitable girl fights. Girls are dramatic. Girls are egotistical. The combination of the two fuels the fire for epic sorority battles in the form of, what else, dance offs. In the weeks (or months, in some cases) leading up to this night of nights, girls are whipped into shape by ruthless dancer dictators, perfecting their pops and locks in preparation. Gossip litters the campus about who has been practicing. Since February?! Wow, that’s desperate… Rumors fly about what themes may be, predictions about this year’s results. They got a lot of dance teamers during rush this year…
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And that’s only before the night begins. As the night goes on, the ladies increase their catty sentiments. And they love it. Critiquing the choreography, the outfits, and the respective sorority’s relationship with the judges are several overheard conversation topics. And then, after the winner is crowned, the disappointed losing sororities rant about the unfairness of it all. I’m not even sure if Brooke Valentine could handle it!
Last but not least, girls “heart” the Brothers Auction, where the brothers of “Sigma Chill” sell themselves for a cause. Music plays, usually seductive “don’t you wanna tap this” music, the selected brother struts his stuff, strips down, and is auctioned off for his brains, wit, and abs of course!
So, for those of you who think that participating in Airbands is degrading towards women, think again. Girls love it because we are, admittedly, selfish creatures who want to feel as hot as we know we are! Feeling superior to other girls doesn’t hurt, either. And, as the ultimate victors, we are untouchable!
And hey, if that doesn’t convince you, you can always remind yourself that it’s all for the kids at Brenner’s Children’s Hospital. Just don’t show them any of the dances… At least for another 10 years!