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Ask Ayla: 5 Signs You’re Dealing with a Douchebag


And so it begins. That vicious cycle where girl meets boy, boy charms girl, boy gets what he wants, boy does a 180 degree turn, and girl gets upset. Sounds familiar, right? Sadly, many of us have faced that kind of guy, and even worse, more and more of us continue to fall for it. Needless to say, I’m one of those suckers who has endured the inevitable disappointment that comes with dealing with a douchebag, and after years of “personal research,” I feel like it’s time to share what I’ve learned. Obviously every guy is different and every situation is different, but I think it’s safe to say that most girls have observed at least one of these signs when dealing with a not-so-awesome member of the opposite sex. If you’re one of them, don’t worry you’re definitely not alone.

  1. You only hangout and communicate on his terms

You only hang out when he wants to, you only talk when he wants to, and you basically only have anything to do with him when he wants you to. He never considers your schedule or what you want. You’ll go out of your way for him, but he’ll cancel on you in a second if better plans come up. He doesn’t consider the repercussions of his actions on your part or how his lack of consideration affects you. He’s basically only thinking of himself and his side of the spectrum when it comes to you, and in the end, you end up going with what he wants because he refuses to give an inch your way. DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN. If you see signs of this blatantly selfish behavior, then you’re most definitely dealing with a douchebag. It’s better to just end whatever it is you’re doing now and save yourself from an immense amount of grief in the future.

  1. He feels the need to mention your every flaw

In the words of one of my favorite douchebags, “wow you have a lot of flaws.” I wish I could say that I’ve never met anyone who thought it was okay to say that to someone, but sadly I can’t. Sarcasm can be cute, and most of the time it’s funny, but being a sarcastic a**hole is just a big no-no. We’re supposed to appreciate people for their flaws, not make a point to bring up every single one of them. I really wish I was the only person who has ever encountered someone like this, but unfortunately I’m not. They exist everywhere, and anyone who constantly criticizes you is probably a douchebag that you need to separate yourself from. We’re adolescent girls, we have enough problems with our self-esteem, no need to involve ourselves with someone who simply emphasizes them. 

                                                                                                      *Image from live.drjays.com


  1. His cockiness overrides his kindness

Yes, please tell me more about how cool you are and how many things you’re good at, I sincerely love sitting around constantly listening to it! Confidence is hot; cockiness is NOT. It’s good to be proud of your strengths and accomplishments, but to revolve most of our conversations around them is simply redundant and annoying. Any guy who is more interested about telling you how great he is rather than finding out what little things make you great is not worth your time or attention. If he is genuinely interested in you then he’ll take the time to learn about you, not just force you to listen over and over again to how great he is.

  1. He doesn’t appreciate any of the effort you put in for him

“Thank you.” They’re two simple words – words that take maybe two seconds to say. If he has trouble saying those two words then there’s a 99% chance he’s a douchebag. If you go out of your way to make things convenient for him or do something nice for him, and he can’t even bother to express his appreciation in a simple “thank you,” then it’s time to peace out. No ifs, ands, or buts; if he can’t even be appreciative of the nice things you do then don’t bother letting the relationship go any further. You don’t want to be around someone who matches your constant efforts with an equally constant string of disappointments.

                                                                                                 *Image from RealMenLifestyle.com

  1. He doesn’t make any real effort to get to know you past a physical level

Every time you hang out with him, it’s in private, on his terms, and only for the amount of time it takes for you two to hook up (and maybe an hour or two more.) You normally don’t partake in activities that aren’t sexual and he shows no signs of wanting to get to know you past a superficial level. Long story short, if he’s willing to hook up with you and hang around you when he wants something, but isn’t willing to get to know you past a physical level, then chances are he only wants one thing from you and you shouldn’t waste any more of your time.

                                                                                                                                *Image from hitcountry.tv 

Now if you notice any of these signs, here’s my advice to you – RUN! Don’t even think about it. Don’t make any excuses for him. Don’t keep going back with hope that he’ll change. JUST RUN. If you don’t believe me then listen to Carrie Underwood’s, “Cowboy Casanova.” If anything, Carrie knows what she’s talking about. Any guy that matches your consistent efforts with a consistent string of disappointments is just trouble and needs to be put aside. Don’t be like T-Swizzle and end up with a song like “I Knew You Were Trouble” –  avoid the tragedy and move on!

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Ayla Yazdani

Wake Forest

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