I have always been shy; since the day I was born I have preferred to remain unnoticed, unheard and generally invisible. It was easier to keep my head down and watch the world go by one step at a time than to draw the slightest bit of attention to myself. Seeing the countless pairs of eyes on me but not having a clue what they were thinking absolutely terrified me, and I did everything I could to avoid it. Looking back as the person I am today, it’s easy to say that what I was doing was wrong and that I should have just spoken up, but back then it was comfortable. Comfort has always been an instinct to me; I’ve never done anything risky or out of the ordinary for fear of messing up or getting in trouble. Staying in the shadows was my routine, one that felt easy, and it was a place I could live forever in peace.
The key to learning a second language is expressing yourself through spoken words, something I’ve come to learn in college, which means that most beginner Spanish classes are full of presentations and group projects. The anxiety leading up to a presentation would leave me worried for days until the moment came and there was no other choice than to just get it over with, a task that left my voice wobbly, my breath uneven and my hands shaky. There was no greater joy than returning to the safety and comfort of my seat in the back of the room when everyone’s eyes could finally focus on something — anything — other than me. Like a speck of dry paint on a white cement wall, you could see me if you tried hard enough, but most times your eyes would just gloss right over me.
I kept taking Spanish classes not because I was passionate about it but because I had to; however, everything changed when I was a junior in high school. Anyone who has ever taken a high school Spanish class remembers the classic plug-and-chug method of learning basic verb conjugations and grammar structures, but my junior year Spanish teacher decided to switch things up. Instead we learned about the many cultures across numerous Spanish-speaking countries in Central and South America, and I was intrigued. I found myself participating more in class, leading group work and staying after class to ask questions. My teacher encouraged me to apply to the Virginia Spanish Governor’s School, a three-week Spanish immersion program, and by the grace of God I was selected to be one of 60 Virginia high school students to attend that summer. This was completely out of the ordinary for me — I mean, three weeks away from home, surrounded by complete strangers and talking in nothing but Spanish? Unheard of.
I came back from Governor’s School no longer a speck of dry paint on the wall; I was now a beautiful, vibrant painting just begging to be seen. Since that summer I have continued to broaden my knowledge of the Spanish language and am currently making great progress as a Spanish major at Virginia Tech. There have been so many benefits of learning Spanish, whether it’s recognizing words in movies, understanding song lyrics or staying informed on global issues, but the greatest benefits are those that I see in myself.
I’ve learned that I am capable, brave and strong; I can do anything that I put my mind to and there’s no reason to doubt that. Constantly pushing myself outside of my comfort zone over the past eight years to improve my Spanish skills has reinvented my personality, and I will always be thankful that it has helped shape me into the person I am today, one that I can be proud of. I am no longer the girl who sits in the back of the classroom with her head down. I don’t keep my thoughts and opinions to myself and I’m not afraid to speak up when it comes to what I’m passionate about. If you live a life in the shadows, hiding your feelings and refusing to pursue what you love, what’s the point? The world revolves around the things that make us different and the commonalities that ultimately tie us together. We all live on this planet together, and taking the time to understand our neighbors is something we should all make an effort to do.