As of about two months ago, I turned 20. I thought turning 20 would be magical; I’d finally be taken seriously. I’d be an actual adult. But instead of excitement bubbling up in my chest, there was a sense of dread. As the day passed, I remember stating multiple times that I wasn’t ready to leave my teenage years. I kept muttering to myself that I didn’t want to be 20 years old, and that I’d give anything to stay 19 for a little while longer.
Apparently, this is a feeling many of my friends had experienced when turning 20 as well. So, what is it about turning 20 that seems so frightening? Maybe it’s because when we are 16, we’re told we’re in the prime of our lives. As young girls, we watch movies like Bratz portraying turning 16 as something extraordinary, something so great that Meredith, the mean girl, does it three times over. When I first watched this movie, I didn’t understand why she was so intent on having a sweet 16 birthday party over and over again. I laughed at the idea of never wanting to grow up because then, I couldn’t wait to turn 20.
If you’ve already been in the prime of your life at the ripe age of 16, then turning 20 means that you’re irrelevant. Growing up for women means that we’re going to be replaced by someone younger. Every woman is told at some point that we have an expiration date, the day when we’ll no longer be relevant. We’re told that once we hit a certain age, potential partners won’t be as interested because they’ll want someone younger. In every movie where a woman isn’t with someone by 25, when she does find a partner, everyone treats it like a miracle. So perhaps we fear turning 20 because we’re scared of our lives ending before it starts.
But this ideology is false. Turning 20 isn’t something to fear, it’s something that should be celebrated. Being 20 means that we are one step closer to entering an amazing phase of life. We shouldn’t have to base our lives on timelines that have been set up for us by outdated thoughts — and by men. Instead of wasting our birthdays dreading getting older, let’s spend them by celebrating how wonderful it is to be alive another year and the many years ahead. Don’t forget to party like 20 is the new 16 — because it is.