This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Virginia Tech chapter.
Spring Break is every parent’s nightmare. The entire week is dedicated to getting hammered and flushing all of your moral judgments down the toilet. Yep, that’s right, this one week break from reality is a black hole that swallows you and spits you out before you know it, leaving you with a few faint memories. All ambitions are gone and your one and only goal is to win the wet t-shirt contest.
Who cares if you can’t remember anything from Spanish class, the only words you need to remember all week are, “¡UNO MAS TEQUILA POR FAVOR!”
Spring Break is like a week long Halloween. Girls look forward to wearing next to nothing and when I say next to nothing I mean, by spring break standards, a thong is conservative. And all the guys are looking to fulfill their quota for the year.
Spring Break Preparations
Step 1.) “Move it or lose it:” It’s been a long winter, but stocking up on food like you are a going into d*mn hibernation isn’t smart when spring break is less than a month away. So what do you do? Mount the closest stationary bike and get to town. Kayne’s workout plan can’t even do you justice. I’m talking about running 5 miles and doing 500 crunches a day and signing up for Guts, Butts and Thighs immediately. Major work needs to be done here.
Step 2.) Tan: A little glow makes everyone look healthy, but an orange tan means you’re ready for spring break. Nothing says IM F#@*!NG PREPARED FOR SPRING BREAK like a tan. It means you actually spent time lying around under a bulb doing absolutely nothing. If you think you’re going to the beach looking like Casper, you might as well throw in the towel now because by the end of the trip you’re gonna look like one of two things; a lobster or Fat B@s!@rd with flaky skin and HATING your life. Nothing is worse than being completely sunburned and blistered at the beach. Its worse than any hangover you’ve ever experienced and the only thing I can compare it to is torture that you can’t escape.
Step 3.) Alcohol Tolerance: You’ve been looking forward to this one week for 51 weeks. The least you
can do is pay some respect and not disgrace this week of obliteration. Shots at spring break are like the right of passage. You’re going to want to prepare yourself for the foul liquor you are about to encounter. What are you drinking now? Burnett’s? Smirnoff? Toss it. You may be able to take shots of the “classier” spirits of choice but that’s not impressive. You need to be able to punish the worst of the worst; the bottom of the barrel liquors without gagging. Who’s the champion? You need to build up that liquid courage so you can win that wet t-shirt contest you’ve been talking about.
can do is pay some respect and not disgrace this week of obliteration. Shots at spring break are like the right of passage. You’re going to want to prepare yourself for the foul liquor you are about to encounter. What are you drinking now? Burnett’s? Smirnoff? Toss it. You may be able to take shots of the “classier” spirits of choice but that’s not impressive. You need to be able to punish the worst of the worst; the bottom of the barrel liquors without gagging. Who’s the champion? You need to build up that liquid courage so you can win that wet t-shirt contest you’ve been talking about.
What NOT to do over Spring Break
Tat it up: Don’t get a tattoo. In fact there should be a law against getting drunken tattoos. Otherwise, you’ll never forget the night you never remembered. Two years ago, I went to Panama City and a kid in my group had “SPRING BROKE 2009” hennaed on his forehead and it was easily there for two weeks. Now that’s embarrassing…
Sunscreen FAIL: Make sure your sunscreen is rubbed in completely and that your friends aren’t trying to be the next drunk Picasso and draw male appendages or hand prints on your back.
Pick up the Pieces: After a long night of drinking the last thing you want to do is wake up next to a stranger; but in this case, waking up to your missing wallet or purse is even worse. When leaving the resort only bring items that you absolutely need and remember to keep all money, keys etc. in a pocket or on your body so you’re not likely to leave it behind. You may lose your dignity over spring break but at least you didn’t lose your credit card and passport. Things could have been worse.