My college experience isn’t what you’d typically see. After becoming an RA my sophomore year, I lost the opportunity to have that off-campus, apartment living experience that most college students typically have. There are times where I regret my decision, but there are others when I am reminded of why I chose to be in this role and how I have grown because of it. I know now that I wouldn’t change my college experience for the world.
When people ask me why I became an RA I usually tell them that I did it because of the stipend and guaranteed housing. I’m honestly not sure why I’m afraid of giving the true, sappy answer— I want to make a difference on campus. Maybe it’s because I feel that the role I play is so miniscule in the grand scheme of things. Or maybe it’s because I fear how others will react to what I have to say. Whatever the reason may be, I chose this role because I want others to feel an environment of warmth, welcome, and wonder. I want new students to be excited about all that college has to offer. As I finish out my final semester, seeing the bright eyes and gleaming smiles of freshmen on campus for the first time brings me pure joy. It brings me back and reminds me of my first year and all the growth, happiness, and excitement I felt. I look at my residents and wonder where all the time has gone. I can remember my first semester as if it was yesterday, yet it has been almost three years since that day.
Now, don’t get me wrong this role has it’s fair share of lows as well. There have been plenty of sacrifices made. I can’t count the number of basketball and football games I’ve had to miss because I was on duty. The mini-vacations my friends have gone on that I couldn’t. The late night hangouts and inside jokes that were built. I do feel like I have missed out on parts of college, and memories that I will never get the chance to make. I just have to think back and remember that when I said yes to this role I was saying no to the predefined notion I had in my head of what college was supposed to be like.
One of the reasons I kept choosing to come back semester after semester is because of the people I’ve met and the relationships I’ve built. Each year, my RA staff became my family. They celebrated each and every triumph with me, but they also buckled down and rode through each bump in the road I faced. I don’t think I’ll ever meet a more caring or empathetic group. Spending time with them at the end of a long duty shift never fails to bring a smile to my face. These people are my people. Sometimes I think they know me better than I know myself. A lot of the time the bonding begins with each of us sharing our past displeasures with the job and somehow we end discussing how we would dismantle the patriarchy. I’m serious, this exact conversation has taken place multiple times. Other building’s staffs have referred to us as the “Slusher Cult” because we are such good friends, but I know these people would have my back no matter what. I know without a doubt that these are the people who will make me laugh until I cry even at the end of a terrible day. They are worth every single missed sporting event, party, or trip.
It’s easy for me to think about all that I’ve missed out on, but it would be worse of me to not reflect on all the memories I’ve made because of this job. Over the years I have had some of the funniest residents, some that I am friends with to this day. My girls have taught me to take life less seriously and to enjoy living in the present. It’s refreshing to have a different perspective available to me at all times. It’s a different kind of experience to be hyped up by my residents as I walk down the hall in a cute outfit or with a full face done. The I love you messages that get screamed as girls walk past my door make the 3am fire alarms and hall-style bathrooms worth it.
Watching my residents grow throughout the years always brings a smile to my face. I can remember my first days meeting them and how uncertain most of them felt, but as my college experience comes to a close I now see how I have grown because of them. I don’t think I would be as strong as I am today without this role. I have learned to be graceful in the midst of chaos. Patient even after the longest day. Most of all, I have learned to be vulnerable. I am not afraid to share the emotions that I feel and the hurt that I sometimes have in my heart. By sharing how I feel I hope that I have shown just one person that even those who seem and look strong on the outside struggle sometimes too and that’s okay. I hope I have shown my girls that strong women bobble at times too. Strong women can be stressed, and angry, and upset, and feel like giving up but it doesn’t make us any less strong.