What they should tell you before you start freshman year is something like this: “It’s going to be weird and it might not all be pretty, but you’re going to learn a lot about yourself.”
Freshman year has been weird. No one told me how weird it was going to be. All I ever heard was how many friends I would make, how amazing tailgates would be and how everyone on my hall would become my BFFLs.
Well, to tell you the truth, I have not been to one tailgate. Actually, scratch that – I did go to Center Street once, and I almost got heat stroke just by looking at everyone sweating into their cups of Natty Light. And as for my hallmates? I have had some good and bad experiences, but the one that stands out to me the most is when I let a stranger on my hall watch over my fish during fall break. I came back late that Sunday, and the person delivered my fish back to me, completely dead, in a bowl full of thick, mucus-y water. It is still a mystery as to what happened. Not sure if they will be my BFFL.
The strangest part of college, however, is making friends. I am an outgoing, socially apt gal, so I thought it would be a breeze. I had this image of me waltzing into Virginia Tech, pointing at a group of people and saying, “Hey! I’m your new friend! Let’s go take over the world!” What actually happened the first few weeks involved me and my roommate spending every second together, because we really had no one else. Sure, ate with some people from my classes and the dance team I joined, and sure, it was nice. Sure, I went out on weekends with some ladies and recorded way too many Snapchat stories.
Here is what everyone fails to mention about freshman year – you spend a lot of time ALONE.
It is a necessity at college; it just happens naturally: grabbing food alone, doing homework alone, watching netflix alone, walking everywhere alone, etc. So much alone time. At home, I was never alone with myself for more than a few hours. I always had a friend over, went out with my boyfriend or watched TV with my parents…I never wanted to just sit in my room, be alone with my thoughts and wonder what I wanted from the world. Now, in my cramped dorm room, it is my number one hobby.
It took a long time for me to realize that it is okay to be alone. At first, I was shook. I felt so pressured to make friends with people that I had nothing in common with, just for the sake of having someone to join me for dinner. It took some deep soul searching to resolve that I do not particularly enjoy football games, and then I realized that was okay! Coming into college, I felt so much pressure to find “my people”, and got consumed in that sort of pack mentality. Honestly, I thought I was doing college wrong. I felt like a failure, or some sort of weird girl unable to make friends. Writing this, it sounds ridiculous even to me.
Here is what is more important than finding a group of friends: becoming comfortable with yourself. At the beginning of my college journey, I was not a fan of being isolated. After spending some quality time with myself, I have discovered a lot – what my career may be, what I am passionate about and what I want my friend circle to look like.
I came into college dependent on everyone else for happiness. Depending on parties for fun, on friends for laughs and on the praise of other people for worth, I did not know how to count on myself for these things. After being in college for three months, I can now proudly say I find all of those things from within. And you know what? I am the funniest person I know. Do not worry, I do not think I am the smartest or best or anything, but I am definitely the funniest.
In all seriousness, I have learned to do things for myself. Through all the awkwardly forced social interactions, sub par hallmate experiences and interrupted expectations, I have figured out myself and gotten to a place where I am ready for whatever college throws at me next.
Image Sources: