“Pick me, choose me, love me.”
This famous quote spoken by Meredith Grey to Derek Shepherd in season two of Grey’s Anatomy went down in history as one of the most memorable moments of the show, but something about it doesn’t sit right with me. What was supposed to be a romantic gesture made by Meredith as the music swelled, the tears were flowing and she confessed her feelings for Derek feels more like one of the most anti-feminist scenes I’ve ever seen. What rubs me the wrong way is how throughout all of season one Meredith is built up to be this extremely independent, headstrong woman who manages her personal and work life all on her own without the help of a man, yet she seems to throw all of that away when it comes to Derek. She quite literally begs a married man to love her, which goes against Meredith’s strong, modern, and feminist character.
Meredith had no idea that Derek was married when she became involved with him, and when she did find out, Derek continued to lead her on while he explored things with his wife. Yet even after Meredith knew that Derek was married, she did what every other male-dependent woman on TV does and didn’t give up. Instead of moving on and being independent, as the true Meredith would be, she begs for him to pick her, choose her, and love her. This false female stereotype is shown in almost every romance movie or TV show, but it’s something we as women have to prove wrong. We aren’t dependent on men, and we can’t let them control our emotions, especially when they don’t deserve it. I know Derek was loved by many on the show, but let’s face it: what he did was wrong. He was playing the field and seeing what he could get, all while playing with the emotions of two women.
A woman should never have to beg a man to love her, and she should never have to cry at the expense of one. I’ve been Meredith before, the girl who begs a boy to show interest in her and finds out there’s someone else, and I’m not proud of it. I don’t like thinking about how far I went, how I lost myself trying to convince a guy to care about me, because frankly that’s not the kind of woman I want to be. Even more, I don’t like how TV portrays this type of thing, making it seem normal for a woman to be dependent on a man and romantic even when the man finally chooses her. That’s not how a relationship works or how one should even start; two people should choose each other from the beginning and stand by that decision against all odds. After all, can you even call it love if you have to beg them to feel something?
Anyways, I’m team Cristina all the way — she’s the true independent woman of the show.