I’ve never considered myself a thrill seeker. On a small scale, I avoid riding roller coasters and I hate horror movies filled with jump scares. On a larger scale, diving into unknown situations has always stressed me out. I like to know exactly how my day will go, and while I think it’s good to play it safe and plan things out in many situations, I find myself being held back from making the most out of life due to my fear of what could go wrong.
I’ve always been the person to sit out when my friends go on the big roller coaster rides at amusement parks. It’s not that I’m scared of the ride’s height, speed, or the possibility that it could break down entirely. It’s that I won’t be in control. I don’t know how hanging upside down inside those giant loops or how the big drop is going to feel. If I decide I don’t like it, I can’t just get up a leave in the middle of a ride. My fear of taking risks is what has kept me away from roller coasters.
One summer, I realized my fear of taking risks was holding me back, and from more than just roller coasters; it was keeping me from really living life to the fullest. That same summer, I was at an amusement park and decided I was going to take on a big roller coaster: the Volcano at Kings Dominion. Though it may seem pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things, it was one of the first times in my life where I made the choice to take a risk, to dive into a situation where I couldn’t plan how things would play out. I still think back to the adrenaline rush and the feeling of accomplishment I felt as I stepped off the ride.
The moral of this story isn’t that you should force yourself to do things you dislike. Roller coasters still are not my thing, and I’m still the person that passes on the big roller coasters at amusement parks. For me, going on that ride wasn’t a way to face my fear of roller coasters, but to face my fear of taking risks. It was the first, albeit small, step in my journey of learning that it’s okay to not always play it safe and to let go of my tendency to plan things out. I think my aversion to taking risks will always be something that I need to work through, but thinking back, that first step always reminds me there’s something to be said about letting go and allowing yourself to take on life with full force.
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