I lost my hair when I was 15. I never even noticed it until my father commented on it and I confirmed his ridiculous claim by staring in the bathroom mirror for an hour with tears in my eyes. I had lost a large section of my hair and I had no clue why it had happened or if it was going to keep happening. It was heart breaking and I felt like my world was crashing down around me.Now to some it may seem a little dramatic, but I have always cherished my hair more than most things in my life. I have beautiful curly hair that, even with years of chemical and heat damage, has maintained its soft coils that bounce back to their tight form when stretched. This thick curly mane has been the one thing that made me stand out among my peers and I loved it, though I may not have always acted like I did.
I struggled with so many emotions until I was able to meet with my dermatologist to find out what was wrong with me. I was disappointed and relieved when I was told that, though it may recur throughout my lifetime, there were treatment options for my condition. I have alopecia, specifically alopecia areata. This is when the hairs fall out in small or sometimes large sections that are circular and generally very localized. There could be one or more active spots during a flare up and it is unknown as to what truly causes these flare ups to happen.
I have found that large amounts of stress coupled with my unfortunate ability to get sick often is when I notice that I will start to lose my hair. By the time I was 17 I had lost and regrown hair on over half of my head. I had gone through countless steroid treatments and slathered enough Rogaine on my scalp that it became part of my everyday hair routine. I am 19 now and while I tend to have less hair loss because of my treatments, I do tend to lose small sections of hair on occasion and it makes me extremely self conscious but I embrace the fact that in a few weeks my hair will grow back, and in a few months it won’t even be noticeable anymore.
I had many moments throughout the past few years where I thought that shaving my head would be the solution to all of my problems. I came to grips with the fact that I may have to find ways to cover my bald spots if I need to do something important or if it is in a very noticeable and awkward spot on my head. I have also come to realization that my hair is beautiful regardless of how much or how little I may have. I cannot and will not let my hair define who I am as a person. My hair is like the icing on top of an already perfect cake, somewhat pointless but well appreciated nonetheless.
I always talk about how we should embrace each other’s flaws and learn from them. Now it’s time for me to embrace my own flaws, and I encourage everyone else to do the same. There may be something about yourself that you don’t like and that you may obsess over like I do with my hair. That is fine, but you have to realize that 99.9% of the time these weak spots are what someone else LOVES about you. Flaws are what make us all special and different and interesting. I remind myself everyday that even though I may not like this one part of myself, there are a thousand other things about myself that I love and that is what motivates me to look at myself with a newfound appreciation every day.
Image Sources: All images by Ashleigh Griffin, All gifs from Giphy.com