Now, we’ve all heard the same thing over and over again: “Whatever you do, don’t hook up with a friend. It always ends badly. Someone will end up getting hurt. Is it really worth losing a friend?” We’ve heard the horror stories and, hell, some of us have even lived them. But not yours truly. Kind of. Through the years, I have developed this very odd and probably slightly unhealthy tendency to hook-up with my friends. But through many (well, not that many) years of experience, I have figured out how to hook-up with a friend successfully. I think.
The first and possibly the most important step when hooking up with a friend is to establish whether or not you both are on the same page. I can’t stress enough how important this is. If one friend is looking for a serious relationship while the other is looking for a casual booty call that also happens to share his or her love of “Star Wars,” this friend hook-up is two seconds away from crashing and burning miserably. If you both aren’t on the same page to start with, someone getting hurt is absolutely unavoidable. So if this is the case, it’s always better to skip the make-out session and just turn on the “Star Wars.”
If you both are on the same page, the second step is to establish boundaries. Is this going to be an actual relationship? Or is it a casual booty call when you guys both happen to be drunk and horny (or just horny)? If one of you starts to develop feelings, what then? These questions are why a set of boundaries are extremely important. That way, you both know exactly what the relationship is. But the fact is, throughout your hook-up, feelings and situations are going to change. This is why constant communication is the key to a successful friend hook-up. If you feel like you are starting to catch feelings, tell your friend and discuss the situation from there. Don’t stress and overanalyze about how your friend may feel about you. Just be honest.
So that’s it. The two simple steps to successfully hook-up with a friend. But if I want to be completely honest, there really isn’t some type of foolproof blueprint to this. The two steps I gave are just things everyone should do in any relationship. So here’s the thing: Put yourself out there, and if your friendship was really worth something to start with, then it’ll survive the aftermath of hooking up. If it doesn’t, then you grab a few good friends, maybe some ice cream and a movie, and move on with a few new lessons under your belt.