I watched myself as I got dressed in the mirror this morning. I saw the absence of a flat or toned stomach because carbs are just too good to give up. Pale, strong legs that compose most of my tall height. Long arms that had more muscle this time last year. Round face, full cheeks, acne that is slowly but surely fading. In my head, I checked off all the parts that make me, me. I expected to feel unsatisfied, waiting for the moment when I looked at myself with a frown and began to find something wrong. But I didn’t. Only wearing a bra and leggings, I’ve never felt more complete.
I’d been thinking about (and procrastinating) writing this article all week, for a couple of reasons: I struggle with body image and I don’t always speak of and to my body with kindness. I didn’t start truly being myself until senior year of high school; since being in college and surrounding myself with genuine people and my passions, I’ve become more comfortable with myself.
During a yoga class I was at last semester, the instructor said, “Meet your body at a place of acceptance.” After hearing that statement, it became (and has stayed) my motto towards my body. From this motto, I discovered body neutrality. In a Huffington Post article Leigh Weingus defines body neutrality as, “Seeing your body as a vehicle that, when treated with care, can help you move about the world in a way that brings you joy. That’s it. No thinking about how you look, either good or bad” (“Body Neutrality is a Body Image Movement that Doesn’t Focus on Your Appearance”). With this thinking, you don’t always have to be searching for the good or bright parts of your body, which can be exhausting. In a 2017 article called “Forget Body Positivity: How About Body Neutrality” author, Autumn Whitefield-Madrano says, “My problem with body love, besides the fact that it’s a high standard, is it’s asking women to regulate their emotions, not just their bodies” (The Cut). Body neutrality can offer a middle ground for self-image. Coming to this space, I was able to start actually meeting my body at a place of acceptance. I realized that I wasn’t treating or talking to my body like the friend it is.
1) Check your language when you talk about your body and how the words you use make you feel.
This is an area I struggle with a lot. When I eat a salad or skip dessert I think something like, “Go girl, being skinny today”. Especially in college, these types of statements are common and said nonchalantly. They shouldn’t be. Eat a salad and think of how you are giving yourself nutrients. After working out remember how strong you are for working out and how it is benefitting you mentally/emotionally, not how since you worked out you made up for the pizza you ate the night before. It’s hard to reframe your thinking and takes time, but assigning body ideals to food isn’t bringing anything fruitful to the table.
2) Don’t avoid thinking or talking about any negative or positive attitudes you have towards your body.
Saying something out loud (even if you are alone) is better than holding it in. It’s no secret, we do it all the time to our friends, significant others/crushes and co-workers. When it comes to the self, it’s a tendency to just keep our thoughts in our head. Give your feelings a place to go outside of your head. This will help you evaluate your true attitudes towards your body. When we say something cruel about ourselves, having to hear it can make you re-evaluate what you are thinking and serve as a self-check-in.
3) Remember what your body gives you.
Take aesthetics out of the equation and write or repeat what your body does for you. These can be associated with memories, activities, experiences, really anything. Go further than I don’t have the flattest stomach because I go on dessert trips across the state with my best friend. My legs help me kick ass in spin class. The muscles on my arm aren’t as toned because I’ve been writing more poetry lately instead of going to the gym. You can see my emotions on my face and those round cheeks that frame my smile.
Image 2 & 3 are the author’s own
Cover Image & Image 4 Source: unsplash.com
Gifs sourced from giphy.com