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Is your social media feed on every single platform filled with engagement rings, weddings and babies?


You aren’t alone and you aren’t the only one tired of seeing it.


There is so much more to living than being in a relationship, getting married and having babies. If that’s what you want to do, great, and if that’s all you dream of, by all means, go for it. But if what you really want in life isn’t the same as everyone else or what society tells us we should, that's great too.

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If you are seeing everyone else make all of these “great accomplishments,” look at what you are accomplishing in your life. You are earning a degree, you are working at a job you love, you just learned sign language, you did work for an organization you are a part of, you bought your first house or whatever it might be.


Your life worth isn’t determined by whether or not you find a significant other, settle down and start a family.


There are amazing things that we are all doing in our lives that should be celebrated. Why aren’t they celebrated like getting married and having babies are?


There are a million things you can do to give yourself a happy and full life. You can work on your education; knowledge is power and when you live in a man’s world you need all the power you can get.


You can build a career for yourself, make use of your education and your skill set. Think of all the women whose ambitions were never sought after because society made them feel that raising a family was the only thing they were born to do. You can become successful in your field of work and be a part of something greater than yourself, and that doesn’t need to involve a family.


You can travel, go places and experience things. There is a whole world full of people to meet, amazing sights to see, new foods to taste and adventures to have. Finding the first catch you meet and settling down in your home town will never lead to any of that.


Date for fun. Yes, I said it. Dating is supposed to be fun. Sure, the ultimate goal is to find a person to make a life with, but you cannot lead yourself to believe that's the only reason for doing it. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to make sure this one is the right one, when most of the time it won’t be and that is OK. You can’t enjoy the process of anything if the only focus is the ending. Dating leads you to find the type of person you want to end up with and the type you don’t, the type of relationship you want and don’t want. You can learn so much not just about yourself, but also other people through dating.


There are relationships that you need that aren’t from a significant other or children too. Friendships are so important no matter what age you are. We need people to share our thoughts and feelings with, people that are going to stand by us. You can’t guarantee that with anyone, but the trust you have in your friends is different than the trust you have in a romantic relationship. The dynamic with your friends is also going to be different and we all need that. How many friends have you lost touch with because they jumped into a relationship that is now their top priority? How many couples were you close with before they got married and started a family?

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Don’t limit yourself to anything in life, especially a spouse and children. Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn’t mean that you should or that it’s what is best for you. Before you put pressure on yourself to do something, ask yourself if you are doing it for yourself or to go along with everyone else.

Eva Cregger

Virginia Tech '20

An old soul with modern views of the world that loves movies, music, traveling and anything sweet. Majoring in Communication Studies at Virginia Tech. I am a proud Hokie & HerCampus member
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