Coming into a college of about 30,000 people, from a high school of about 1,000, was a bit of a shock for me. All of a sudden I was in a place where nobody knew my name, and although I was glad to have it that way, I was also scared out of my mind.
I hope your experience isn’t anything like mine, but if it is, know that you’re not alone.
In high school, I had two or three really close friends, but that was about it. I had spent years dealing with people who lied about whether or not they really liked me, and whether or not they wanted to be my friend, and I was sick of dealing with it.
At Virginia Tech, I always felt at home, but because I no longer had close relationships with anyone, I felt so scared to go out and try to meet new people. For all I knew, the people here were going to be exactly like the people from back home.
To solve that issue, I decided that things would be best if I avoided the problem. I didn’t get involved, I didn’t go out of my way to make friends with the girls on my hall (or anyone for that matter), and I just stayed in my room most of the time. Long story short, my first semester of college left me lonely, and I spent a decent amount of my time wondering why I was unhappy.
Eventually, second semester came around and I decided enough was enough. I couldn’t just do a 360-turn overnight though, so getting over my fears took a lot of work. Somehow, once I tried to make changes, everything just kind of clicked. I had a job, I was making new friends, and I was no longer lonely and unhappy, because I wasn’t spending most of my time by myself.
If you’re anything like me, and need some motivation or advice on where to even start, here it is:
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Take baby steps: This part is the most important for me. I couldn’t just decide one day to go out and join three new clubs—I started by getting a job, then making good friends with the girls on my hall, and then by making new friends through acquaintances from my first semester. I was all about mastering the art of the baby step.
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Make friends with the girls on your hall: I know I just mentioned this one a second ago, but I really want to stress how amazing this one is. Once I stopped worrying about whether or not these girls were going to be like the girls from high school, I met a couple of people who are now some of my close friends.
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Try one or two new things every month: This one was important for me too; by setting a tangible goal for myself, I had something to work towards any time I felt myself slipping into old habits of hiding out in my room 24/7. Whether it was inviting someone to hang hammocks at the duck pond, or just asking someone to come to dinner, I found small ways to build relationships with people every time.
All in all, I just have three words of wisdom: it gets better. I know how corny that sounds, but whether it’s after your first week or after your first year, you’ll start to understand where you fit in and who you want to surround yourself with; once you nail that part, things are pretty great.