Freshman year is one journey you shouldn’t go alone. Friends make the good times
sweeter and the bad times bearable. You’ll need healthy relationships, but they can
be hard to come by. Maybe meeting new people feels scary, or you find it difficult to make
friendships last. It’ll get easier! Here’s how to build healthy relationships your first year.
Making Friends
As a kid, meeting new people was as simple as asking “wanna be friends?” to the
girl on the monkey bars. It may feel more intimidating in adulthood, but it doesn’t have to
be! The hardest part about socializing is striking up a conversation. To break the ice, start
with a compliment based on a commonality, such as “I love your laptop sticker, I
watch that show too!”. A casual compliment shows you’re nice and gets a conversation
flowing. Once you introduce yourselves, you can exchange socials and chat more later.
Many people are too shy to introduce themselves, so don’t be afraid of being the first to say
hi!
Avoiding Toxicity
How conflicts are handled can make or break a relationship. Whether you and your
bestie got into a small argument or a full-on screaming match, the problem usually stems
from miscommunication. Don’t get caught in the heat of the moment. Before you talk
things out, give each other time to calm down. Once ready, chat one one-on-one about what
happened. It’s beneficial to focus on how the situation made you feel, rather than
becoming accusatory or argumentative. When a pal explains their point of view, listen
intently and try to empathize. Even if one of you misunderstood the situation, both of your
feelings are valid! A good friendship shouldn’t be difficult or forced. After you learn to
communicate healthily, fights will become few and far between. If a friend is not respecting
your feelings, they’ve hurt you repeatedly or irrevocably, you might need to distance
Yourself.
Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries
Boundaries are necessary in any relationship. Let friends know when they’ve
violated your personal space, privacy, or respect. For serious issues, be direct and
assertive when confronting them. It’s common to feel guilty about speaking up, but
boundaries are vital to a healthy friendship! Mention the issue casually yet firmly, like
“Honestly that nickname kind of bugs me, can you stop using it?”. Your buddy probably
has no idea they’re making you uncomfortable and will stop once you tell them. If someone
continues to violate your boundaries, reconsider the relationship. Remember, your friend’s
right to privacy and comfort is just as valid as yours. If they establish a boundary, respect it.Respect Your Bros!
A healthy relationship runs on mutual trust and respect. Seek admirable,
trustworthy friends and reflect these qualities yourself! Display mutual trust and respect
by acknowledging each other’s emotions and boundaries. Ensure you respect each other
equally, as power imbalance can destroy a relationship. Show friends you care by being
there to support, comfort, and celebrate each other. Routinely checking in with your buddy
will strengthen the bond and make you both happy!
Make Time
Sometimes friendships fade and it’s nobody’s fault. You might get busy and forget
to make time for one another. If a relationship is important to you, put in effort. Keep in
contact with pals and hang out regularly. Independence is just as necessary to a healthy
relationship as quality time. Strike a balance between being together and apart.
Is This The End?
Over time, relationships may end simply because you’re no longer the people you
used to be. If a bond is strong enough, people continue to grow and change together. That
said, it’s okay to let go of past relationships while honoring what they once meant to you.
Everyone needs a friend. They bring fun, comfort, and purpose into our world. Treat
each other right and a friendship can last long after your first year ends.