When I entered college I knew it would be full of growing pains, but the biggest pain I got was something I never would have expected: FOMO. FOMO is an abbreviation for the words, Fear of Missing Out. I went to college full of bright eyes and excitement for an adventure but I never thought I’d spend half of Freshman year crying and swiping through Instagram stories. These Instagram stories filled with high school friends, my friends, who seemed to be having the time of their lives…but without me. I mean, I knew they weren’t thinking about me and they should be having a great time but I felt hurt. Pain. Pain that I wasn’t there for the movie nights, beach days, sleepovers. I was stuck in a new place, with no friends, with no family. I felt like I was on another planet even though we were in the same state. So here are some tips on how to survive this hard time.
- Communicate with your friends
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I went and told all my friends about how much I miss them and how I felt like I was falling behind. I felt as though my absence wasn’t even noticed. That whatever I was up to didn’t matter, my friends were all together and I was alone. I felt awful but opening up and saying that felt good. Also it helped my friends see my perspective. It helped them see what I needed from a friend and the support I needed. This caused me to have phone calls once a week with my friends and we would play online games together (mostly roblox) or we would do online movie nights. There are many things you can do together, even if you aren’t in the same space. I just think communicating is the best thing you can do, cause how can they know what’s wrong if you don’t tell them.
- Gain New Hobbies
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Hobbies can be a distraction but also something new you can tell your friends about back home. A new skill that can open opportunities to meet new people, have new experiences, and a way to keep you grounded. This gives you something to do that isn’t school. A new hobby I had really started honing on when I got to college was writing. I joined Her Campus at a low point, but it gave me something to do, some new people to meet, and also an outlet for my feelings. New hobbies are fun and delightful, they shouldn’t stress you out. Also, maybe it can be something you and your friends at home can bond over. You can show them a new hobby and learn together.
- Make New Friends
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I am not saying replace your old friends. That’s not the goal here. I am just saying, making friends here is an essential part of college. You can have friends back at home but you should have college friends. Friends that you can go out downtown with or have study parties with. You do not need to have your life paused; rather, this is where your life should start pressing play. A new disk for a new chapter in life. Your new friends at college are here to be here through this transition period and honestly if they can survive this, that’s a friend for life.
- Remember why you are here
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I came to Virginia Tech for more opportunities. I came to make my mother proud and show that all her effort and work she did raise me was for a reason. I am my mother’s daughter, and it was time that I acted like it. I needed to be brave. I needed to show that I could do this. I could be the woman my mother wanted me to be. Yes, FOMO sucks but I was given an opportunity to come here that not many were. I needed to make this work. I needed to continue my dream and my education. I am missing out, that’s for sure, but I am also gaining so much more.
My friends and family still love me. They have their own lives though, they can’t revolve around me. I am not their sun but rather a planet in their orbit. While I am not the center, I am still part of their system whether I am as close to their center like Mars or farther off like Neptune, it doesn’t matter. I am still valued. I am still loved. I am just on a sidequest to my main story, I am the loveable character who is missing for a season but comes back better than ever. I am still in their story and will be for as long as they will have me.