October is finally here! The month of ghouls and goblins, witches and ghosts, and of course, countless conversations about Halloween costumes. With the arrival of the spookiest month of the year, I have been thinking about the scariest things I have found here at Tech. This being said, I have composed a list of the Five Most Frightening things I have encountered so far in my college career.
The Five Most Frightening Things at Tech
In descending order from least scary to scariest, they are:
5) Freaky Friendly Squirrels: Arriving as a freshman on the Virginia Tech campus, I had no reason to believe that the small, furry animals I’ve always been intimidated by would be any different than the ones from back at home. I was wrong. Not only are the Tech squirrels unafraid of humans, they actually LIKE them. Probably due to the fact that college students here seem to unanimously find some strange enjoyment out of feeding these obese, little rodents. A strange enjoyment which actually resulted in an email to all the students in my dorm urging them not to keep “seemingly docile wild animals” in their rooms as pets…how I wish I were kidding. Regardless, more than once I have felt the eyes of a freaky, fury friend scurrying along after me while holding my to-go dinner box.
4) Booths on the Drillfield: The first week of school is the incoming freshman’s first encounter with this
unexpected terror…Random groups and clubs that set up booths on the Drillfield with the most frightening determination I have ever witnessed. You WILL take that flier and you WILL be introduced to that club. Even if it takes shouting at you all the way down the stony path of the Drillfield. Many have attempted to devise unique tactics in order to surpass these forceful giants, but to no prevail. What, you suddenly have a phone call? Oh, your hands are full? No worries! All the information is on this here flier! I’ll stick it in your bag! … No use trying to nonchalantly pass by, because they will catch you…every time.
3) The Aftermath of D2: If Asia, Italy, Candy Land, and the Garden of Eden all came together and had a baby, it would be the magical, buffet-style dining hall known as D2. Yes, it is wonderful and magical while eating… Not so magical about an hour after. In fact another, more accurate, description for this alarming Tech specialty is called the “D2 Dash” dash…to the bathroom that is. Warning: Do Not Eat D2 When in a Rush. Need I say more?
2) Slusher Wing Carpeting: As I have mentioned in previous blogs, the carpeting in my Slusher Wing dorm hallway is more than enough to give a person nightmares. For those of you fortunate enough to never have been in Slusher Wing, the walls in the halls are decorated with grotesque carpeting. I repeat, the WALLS ARE COVERED IN CARPETS. Why are they here!? Where did they come from? How old are they? What is that stain over there from? Someone please, enlighten me! As far as I’m concerned the only benefit from the carpets is pushing your enemies into them at unexpected times.
DRUMROLL PLEASE… And now, ladies and gentlemen, the MOST FRIGHTENING thing I have come into contact with here at Tech is…
1) THE BIKERS: A wise Elf once said, “Watch out! The yellow ones don’t stop!” when referring to New York City taxis. There could not be a more accurate statement for the kamikaze bikers who terrorize Virginia Tech. No longer do I look both ways for oncoming cars when crossing the street, no, they know to stop at crosswalks. The bikers, on the other hand, do not. I have actually seen people get wrecked by the fearless, two-wheeled fiends limping away with cuts and scrapes on the backs of their legs. Following some rules of the road (by riding on the street) while not following others (like stopping for pedestrians at crosswalks) these rebels pose a threat to all who encounter them. My advice: always try and walk in the straightest line possible, or face the consequences. And beware…you rarely hear them before they zoom past you…