Continuing our “Everday Sexism” series with the Virginia Tech Women’s Center, we explore how traditional gender stereotypes, rooted in biological differences between the sexes, continues to impact us today.
Have you experienced traditional gender stereotypes?
Here’s the thing, if you ever…
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Dread lifting in a crowded weight room because you are a woman.
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Feel scared to run in a wooded trail alone because you are a woman.
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Feel embarrassed parallel parking (*It was an off day*) because you are a woman.
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Feel judged by others for not wanting to have kids because you are a woman.
Then you have experienced an implicit gender stereotype that impacts how you interact with the world. Because of these expectations carving out roles for each gender, you may believe you are weaker, less logical and destined for only ancient purposes of child-rearing and homemaking, but that’s hardly the case. And men feel an obligation to be such chiseled, masculine creatures, that to shed a tear is death.
We think traditional gender stereotypes, whether implicit or explicit— need to be broken. So, we asked for your thoughts and experiences with sexism in order to create greater awareness and secure solutions in our immediate community.
Q1: What is your encounter with “everyday sexism?”
Q2: How do you suggest tackling instances of “everyday sexism?” What is an appropriate response?
Kelsey, “Simple things like “women are bad drivers” or “women belong in the kitchen” or “you’re meant to be a stay at home mom;” I usually ignore these comments and if I do say something I’ll say “I’m sorry you think that way” or “I hope you’re at bliss because you’re being ignorant.”
Kelly, “My boyfriend always makes remarks that suggest that he thinks I’m dainty and can’t protect myself. Whenever he makes a comment, I flat out say, “I’m tough.” Or “I’m fine.” I tell him that if I was truly hurt or truly needed his protection, I’m sure he would know.”
Rachel, “A male or group of males thinking that I am inferior in regards to physical activity just because I am a woman. Informing men of women’s power and importance in the world.”Paulina Farley-Kuzmina, ‘”Take it like a man” “You’re being an overly emotional woman” “Boys will be boys.”
Politely but firmly directly point out to the person making comments that their comments are either overtly sexist or a micro-aggression and explain how. If the person gets defensive, engage in a productive dialogue but start with asking them “why” they think that–try and show them how the root of their comment is based on stereotypes.Natalie , “I went into work as a hostess without any makeup on one day, then the manager approached me and said “you look like you’re sick and your boyfriend broke up with you.”Emily, “Simple derogatory statements that are cliche, sarcastic, or just ignorant that people tend to not delve into, but are rooted in sexism. Calling someone a “pussy”. The general atmosphere in the engineering, math, or business classes. The attitude of some fraternity brothers, and the way their parties are set up to be almost a trap for drunk girls. Calling women “bitches” or demeaning us for our feelings because we’re known for being “emotional” just to make men feel better for not understanding certain feelings (which of course isn’t their fault, it’s what they were taught). The rude way some men act, and when some women respond indifferently, is all a part of sexism that most people don’t even realize.”
“We need to show men how they need to be a part of the solution, and how they are affected by sexism and the patriarchy. We should inform them in a funny or captivating way so that they can’t just brush it off as they normally would. We don’t want to alienate anyone or accuse anyone, but merely prevent facts and stories that get people to relate and sympathize. Explain why certain things are sexist, and how some people look deeper into “silly, offhanded” comments and that is why we are offended by them, because we are affected by them.”
Stephanie payne, “She talked about herself too much” *said after I gave a speech running for a leadership position* Calling people out on it when you hear it.”
Cynthia, “I don’t really feel like I encounter sexism personally. I would suggest tackling sexism socially as being up front about the offense and how you feel about it. If in the workplace I would go through the proper chain of command.”
Carlos, “I feel all people are equal and have more opportunities today than ever before to be successful. I feel that my encounter with sexism has been more of an excuse rather than actual discrimination. I have witnessed some not putting forth the effort and then when they are not successful look for an excuse and I feel sexism is the easiest copout. I think we must keep exercising equality at home, in our schools, at work, and in our communities in effort to tackle everyday sexism.”
Stay tuned for the final part of the series where we explore the gender stereotypes and implicit bias that create challenges for women in science, technology, engineering and math.
Image sources: Rep / Gifs from Giphy.com