Do Room with a Close Friend!

There are a lot of scares when choosing a roommate. What not to do, who to avoid, who is a bad roommate, and more. And when you’re a freshman, choosing to share a living space for the first time for many people, a big no-no is to not choose an already existing friend of yours. Everyone has told me about the experiences they heard about choosing a friend, how they always end up hating each other and have a miserable year and ruin their friendship with choosing to room together. 

But with my experience, and with the experiences I’ve seen I like to argue with this theory. I believe that choosing an already existing friend not only makes you closer as friends, but when faced with issues allows for a safe space to talk about it. The ratio of people I know with randomly selected roommates who argue, and fight is much higher than friends who ended up rooming together. 

When my roommate and I were telling people that we will room together all we received was judgement and comments of “Good luck” or “That’s not a good choice”. Without even communicating this to each other we had this unspoken tension and fear of what could happen. Everybody had set this expectation that we would end up hating each other. So far in our first semester we have created nothing but amazing memories and countless times of laughter in our dorm room. 

So, with apartment hunting season here are my perspectives on how to choose my next roommates and how to maintain that healthy roommate relationship!

1. I will room with people I know, more specifically friends I actually like and have a connection with. This not only maintains the safe and welcoming environment we have but also makes it so much easier to talk about problems because we are not uncomfortable to approach them. 
2. Like I’ve done with my current roommate we will set clear expectations and standards to follow. Talking about the details on living styles from the very beginning clears up a lot of the arguments that could occur later. Whether that is on chores or sleep schedules. 
3. Respect!!! With being respectful between roommates there is a lot of compromise, sympathy, and understanding that comes with it. From making sure the mess from your side of the room doesn’t affect the whole shared space. To leave the room during phone calls in times when the other roommate needs a quiet environment. 
4. Speak out on any moments that make you uncomfortable as soon as possible. The sooner it is the less of a problem it becomes. Directly confronting and stating the issue with your roommates first then lingering on and telling others before them just makes the problem get to point it doesn’t need to be. 

These basic standards and understandings between you and your roommates will allow for a good environment for all of you to feel comfortable and welcome in a new place. And if you are in the process of choosing a roommate, I strongly advise that you know that you can be friends before roommates, because at the end of the day you will spend a lot of time with them. Living with someone you can’t be friends with is a negative experience for both roommates. 

• college
• friendship
• roommate