In a matter of weeks, I will be in my last semester of college. As a complete shock to me now, this thought used to excite me. My freshman year of college was rough, with a mixture of homesickness, anxiety, and self-esteem issues taking control of my mental health, a dread for the next four years and the unknown that came with it plagued my first semester. However, I now find myself with the opposite issue: a dread for this chapter of my life coming to a close and a new unknown of postgrad life.
Right now, it’s not a great time to leave college. A tumultuous job market, rough economy, and social strife across the country does not bode well for a prosperous post-graduate future—for now. This is something that has been on my mind and has been heavy on my heart for the past year. But this isn’t about harping on the negative or drowning in our sorrows; it’s about staying hopeful with all the unknowns I have had in my life.
I remember the first time I was really, really unsure about something. I was about 6 years old and did not even stand four feet tall. My dad passed me a basketball and told me to try to shoot it into a basketball hoop. I was convinced there was no possibility of me making the shot, as the basketball hoop itself was 6 feet above the top of my head. Nonetheless, I tried and tried, seventeen times to be exact, before it finally bounced in. This would certainly not be the last time I succeeded at something I was originally unsure of, but the little victories are always important to remember.
Despite learning how to face and overcome the unknown when I was in grade school, it still presents itself as a daunting task. Now, 15 years later, I find myself having good and bad days when it comes to reconciling my future. On the bad days, I find myself stressed and sad in sort of a tug-of-war with the two emotions until I inevitably distract myself with some other outlet, whether it be exercising, studying, or rotting on the couch for 10 hours straight. However, on the good days I remember that although my experiences may seem daunting, opening and connecting with those around me who may also be going through a similar experience has really benefitted me.
I saw a video the other day of a quote that Timothee Chalamet recited on a press tour: “You could be the master of your fate, you could be the captain of your soul. But you have to realize that life is coming from you and not at you, and that takes time”. Although Timothee is a Hollywood star with millions of loving fans and seemingly not a worry in the world—he’s spot on with this quote. The effort we put in to dreading and fearing the future on a daily basis could be put in to living in the moment and realizing that although we don’t have control over everything, we can make the most out of what we can.
The unknown will continue to exist. I’ll have good days and bad days. But from this point on, acknowledging the blessing it is to be able to call stressing over my future career and passion a bad day will continue to drive me. The privilege it is to attend college, have supportive friendships and a loving family, and the ability to set challenging goals for myself will be what I carry into the unknown, and I can’t wait to report back in the future.