The one thing more stressful than college itself: breakups in college. While mixed with raging anxiety, sleep deprivation and insecurity, these heart wrenching situations become extremely difficult to overcome. Whether you’re the crier or the shoulder to cry on, every break up can be conquered.
College is the time to develop independence and individuality. Surpassing emotional turmoil is the quickest way to self-acknowledgement and appreciation. No matter what led to the relationship’s end, dealing with breakups should be handled with patience and care. Here are some tips on what to do and what not to do during the aftermath of a relationship.
Communication
Don’t: Absolutely do not continue constant texting or phone calls. This will emotionally bind you to his presence and make it much more difficult to move on. By continuing communication, your mind will have a much harder time identifying him as a figure of the past.
Do: Avoid pestering feelings of attachment by cutting off all communication for the first few weeks. This allows time to heal and creates necessary space. Going from talking to someone everyday to not communicating at all is difficult, yet extremely beneficial in the recovery process.
Distractions
Don’t: Do not spend your free time dwelling on the past, or creeping on his current activities. Especially in today’s generation, social media makes avoiding people very difficult. Keep in mind, I’m not suggesting that you block him on all social media. That may cause unwanted tension. Simply keep the profile stalking to a minimum. Trying to distract yourself with technology will most likely just lead you into seeing something you don’t want to see.
Do: In order to remain positive, surround yourself with physical rather than technological distractions. Hang out with friends, go on adventures and spend time with those who are dear to you. Keeping yourself busy keeps your mind in an optimistic state.
Boy Toys
Don’t: As much as it may seem fit, try to avoid casual hookups. These may fill the void in short term, but the empty feeling will not be filled for long. After a long relationship, getting tangled in the bliss of singlehood can be detrimental in becoming a stronger individual.
Do: Like I said before, overcoming a breakup can be very helpful in determining self-worth. Instead of one night stands, find guy friends who can talk to you and give you closure from a different point of view. Whether a good guy friend, a brother, or your dad, having a male support system helps bring sanity to what may feel like a hopeless situation.
Memories
Don’t: Cherish the past, but live in the present. Memories won’t just fade away, especially significant ones. Just to be clear, erasing Instagram pictures doesn’t erase the relationship. Don’t get hung up in the past. Trying to relive, re-create or delete romantic history will only wear you down in the race to recovery.
Do: Recognize your past relationship for what it is: the past! Use your new independence as a clean slate for more new memories. Break ups are a time to keep your head up and only look forward.
Believe me, I know how hard it is to take advice during the emotional tornadoes of break-ups. However, without the trials and tribulations of heartbreak, I would not be the strong independent girl that I am today. Heartbreak isn’t forever. The only person that can determine your happiness is you!