When I was in community college, before receiving my transfer acceptance to Virginia Tech, I spent a lot of time with my two small cousins, who were five and three at the time. From my various mental breakdowns to procrastinating on work by taking them out for ice cream and playing in the park, I reflect on those moments of childish behaviors and innocence. As I watch them grow, now they are seven and five, I’ve realized how much love and pure kindness children come with, particularly by the baby.
I distinctly remember one day, after picking them up from Montessori school, we had gone back to my aunt and uncle’s house to get them changed and fed. For context, I have a rough relationship with trying to eat properly, and often skip meals whenever I feel anxious (a habit I’m still fighting to this day). When she noticed I wasn’t eating, she looked at me and tugged my arm to the table, and even when I told her I wasn’t hungry, she pouted her lip and said plainly, “Then I give you food,” and proceeded to shove multiple Goldfish in my mouth before I had a chance to respond. She giggled as I tried not to choke on the multiple fish in my mouth, and stuck a flower sticker on my hand as a ‘good job’ for having a snack with her.
Another moment of innocence was when I was doing homework. My major consists of lots of chapter readings, highlighting, and note-taking, which to her made it seem like I was coloring. After multiple rejections of her colored pencils and markers to help me with highlighting, she ended up sitting down across the table from me with papers and said markers, and started drawing lines everywhere in various colors. When my aunt came by to take her up for a nap, she asked what we were doing, to which she replied, “We studying.” My aunt and I both laughed, wondering what a three-year-old would be studying, but after she was put down for a nap, my aunt told me that the baby didn’t want me to be working by myself.
This final experience is what I think about when I see a picture of her; I was having a bad day, and while I thought that she was in the other room playing, I didn’t notice her walk into the room and seeing me cry. This little girl, who has only seen her big cousin smile and laugh, was now seeing her in tears with her face in her hands. She came over to me and took my hands off my face, and just before I wiped away any tears, she put her tiny palms on my face and cleaned them off my cheeks, looking confused and asking, “Are you ok?” I didn’t say anything, and she crawled into my lap and hugged me, sitting there for a few moments. Now, this was the cutest action I’ve ever seen her do and that alone made me want to cry tears of joy, but aside from the happiness, I felt immense gratitude for this small child and the way she cared regardless of not understanding what was going on or why I was sad.
It’s moments like these where I look back and appreciate the purity and unconditional love a child has for those they love. Though I know you don’t exactly have ‘favorites’ when it comes to family, this baby of mine means the world to me, and she doesn’t know how much of a positive impact she’s had on my life and the struggles I’ve faced. Be it a sibling, cousin, pet, or even a friend, having that unconditional love and support means the world when you’re feeling down, and for me, it’s this, now five-year-old girl, who loves to play checkers, dress up like Belle, and will keep me company when she sees me alone, no matter what.