When I was young, I never really thought of my life past 18, then I became 18 and never thought of my life past 21. Finally, I am 21 turning 22, and for some reason, this milestoneā¦this birthday is the most daunting to me. It’s weird, it was like yesterday that I was at my prom. Dancing and singing to Moana as I twirled in my dress. Then I had my highschool graduation and said, yeah, I did it, and then I said I would go to college and now Im about to finish that. It’s scary, everyone expects you to be wiser, to be older, to know everything, but I feel as though I still don’t know anything. When I was younger, I thought that Iād turn 18 and stop growing, I would be at a point where I finally know who I am, then 21 would be when I become a BIG adult. What’s a big adult? I guess it was someone who did taxes, who traveled, who partied, who drove, and yet I am not that. I still call my mom for help with doctor appointments and taxes. I went to an interview in another state, and I was calling my mom, almost crying about making sure I didnt miss my flight. What’s worse? At my grown age, I still don’t have my license. Shocker I know, and I also know that if any of my family is reading this article, theyād be shaking their heads. I used to feel so much shame for not being a ārealā adult, for still being like the anxious 18-year-old I always was. I found out this is not the case, yes I may still need help but that doesn’t make me less of an adult, it makes me more of one to be brave enough to call on for help. I dont know all the answers still, and thats okay. Right now, I am a residential advisor in the dorms, and every freshman, along with some juniors and the occasional seniors, comes to me for advice. It’s crazy how people trust me to know things when sometimes I don’t even trust myself, but that’s okay. It took years for me to be comfortable with not knowing, to be brave enough to message my boss and check in that I know my stuff. It took years for me to realize that not everyone’s path of adulthood is going to look the same. Yes, I still call on my mom for doctor help, taxes, and any questions, but it has helped me learn that when I have kids, they are probably going to do the same. Yes, I dont drive, but I am still learning and making sure I am on top of it so that when I do drive, I am not a mess on the roadā¦.like some people who have had their license for years. I may not have all the answers but I still want to learn. Yes I am turning 22, but that’s not the end. I keep living my life as if its a series of checkpoints. My 22nd birthday is being quantified to getting my bachelor’s, but after that, there are still so many unknowns. Will I get into graduate school? Will I become a teacher? Will I go back to working at Disney?Ā Will I get my driverās license? So many questions that all I want are answers to. My 22nd birthday is a marker for the change of my adulthood. A shift of the mindset, I am not the girl I used to be. I am stronger, bolder, and so much more. I have grown and blossomed with time, even though it looks different from how others have grown it still is growth. I am excited for what comes next, weary but excited nonetheless.Ā
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Virginia Tech chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.