With spring semester comes everyone’s favorite time of the year: formals and date party season. For some, date functions are often accompanied by blind dates. Whether someone reaches out to you, or a friend sets you up with one of their friends, college blind dates are extremely common. However, it’s safe to say that most of us have heard of or experienced some pretty uncomfortable situations. Sometimes these situations need nothing more than an escape route. Desperate times call for desperate measures ladies. From a girl who has witnessed the worst of the worst, here are 8 half-humorous/ half-crucial escape plans for those nights that just can’t get worse.
1. “Ghost”
To start out simple, this option is for the point of no return. Go to the bathroom, call an uber and disappear into the night. If your date becomes so irritable that you know you’ll never associate with him again, make a break for it. Once the ghost stage becomes an option, that’s how you know the date has taken a turn for the worst.
2. “Roommate in distress”
This one includes a few well-planned steps. Slyly text your roommate to call you in a panic, claiming that she desperately needs you to come help her. Put the call on speaker loud enough for your date to hear. Attempt to calm her down and claim that you will heroically come her rescue. Apologize to your date for the inconvenience, and run for the hills.
3. “The plague”
The plague is for my dramatic ladies. Become overtly flustered and casually whine that you feel a fever coming on. In the worst case, your date could be so disastrous that a real life headache may occur. Act miserable, mope around and if you’re feeling frisky, shed a single tear. If he doesn’t offer to find you a ride home, dramatically suggest to wait outside for one. By that point, any coherent guy will catch the hint.
4. “The wingman”
This is the classic girl code go-to. Find a trusty wingman to stick to your side all night long. Be obnoxious, pretend to have a bunch of inside jokes, and ease the tension by telling outrageous stories. If he hangs around or starts to make your friend uneasy, casually distance yourselves.
5. “Munchies”
The munchies is pretty self explanatory. Suggest leaving to get food from somewhere. No one turns down a late-night snack. Once you get there, let the food do the talking.
6. “The diversion”
Introduce him to every single person you know at the party. This will make him more familiar with the environment, and less attached to you. More conversations, more people, and less one-on-one time will decrease the discomfort.
7. “Mother-nature”
Using periods as an excuse is another classic girl code go-to. Have a friend pretend to need help with “girl problems.” No guy asks questions when mother nature calls. Slink away and text him that you left with your friend to find an emergency tampon.
8. “Tide to go”
For those who like to blow things entirely out of proportion, this is the plan for you. Secretly splash some water onto your dress or outfit. Cause a scene by blaming a distant figure for spilling their drink on you. Explain just how important the outfit is to you, making sure to include an extremely far-fetched price. Release your inner diva and proclaim that you must go home and change immediately. If you give an oscar winning performance, he will become so frazzled that by the time he realizes you’re gone, it will be too late for questions.
Obviously, some of these options are severely childish. Yet, sometimes they can become completely necessary. The mature thing to do would be to suffer through the pain and be polite. Conversely, if a guy is causing you physical discomfort, do not shy from escaping the situation as soon as possible and reaching out for help. Whether the situation is detrimental or simply bothersome, find any girl at the party to help you out. When times get tough, us girls must stick together.
1 / GIFs courtesy Giphy.com