It was around this time last year when my first year of college began feeling less like an extended summer camp and more like reality. The restaurant food I loved trying with my friends around campus started to feel unappetizing and repetitive, and my inability to drive wherever I wanted as I could previously do at home made me feel suffocated. As students around me began falling sick, I did too. But I didn’t have the comfort of my home, my mom’s hugs and massages, or homemade comfort food to speed up the healing process.
As if this wasn’t enough to make me feel homesick already, everyone around me started visiting their homes that were just one or two hours away for the weekend. Unfortunately, as an out-of-state student from Portland, Oregon attending school in Richmond, Virginia, visiting home whenever I was homesick was not in the cards for me. I realized I was in a unique position as an out-of-state student at VCU. While other colleges often have students from around the country, VCU is heavily populated with students mainly from Virginia. This meant that when the weekends came and people went home, I found myself feeling very much alone on campus.
Every college freshman has their own story to tell of feeling homesick. Long story short, I had my fair share of hardships and homesickness, especially living almost 3,000 miles away from my hometown. However, not only did I survive my freshman year, I truly thrived. Let me share what helped me create a home far away from home so that you can too!
- Put effort into making your dorm room feel like a home
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If you were to walk into my dorm room last year, you’d see bright bursts of pink and pictures of my family and friends around my room. These decorations replicated how my room back home looked so that even living almost 3,000 miles away, I got to peacefully sleep in a place that felt just like home.
- It’s not just okay, but completely normal to not find “your people” right away.
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There are a select few college students who remain close friends with their best friends from freshman year. The majority of the rest of us spend our first year in college making as many new friends as we can and waiting to find the friends that feel most like family. I did not know a single person at VCU when I came here for the first time—it took me until a little over half of my freshman year until Richmond finally felt like home, and it was because I finally found my people.
This waiting period and back-and-forth feeling of making new friends can be emotionally frustrating and difficult sometimes. At the same time, I think the beauty of being in college so far away from home is that since you are in an uncomfortable and unfamiliar position, you build life skills very quickly. You learn how to be independent and how to make genuine connections with people you didn’t know before.
- Everyone’s path in college is different
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There’s no correct timeline for how many friends to make and by when in the year, how soon you need to know your majors or career paths, or if you feel comfortable in your new city yet.
- Get to know at least one of your neighbors
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I think this is something people don’t remember, but neighbors are so important to helping you feel more connected and secure in your dorm. Especially at the beginning of college, when you may not know many people, it’s important to have someone who can check on you if you ever need it.
- Mentally think of your new city as your new home, even just for the 9 months you live there
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Don’t worry, you aren’t betraying your hometown! The sooner you get into the mindset that your new city and college will feel like home, the sooner it’ll be true. Find the things you love about your new city, dorm, campus, classes and friends!
- Call your family (or anyone you are closest to back home)
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We are so lucky to live in a time with FaceTime, phone calls, texts and social media. When I felt most homesick last year, I gave my mom a call and immediately felt better. If your closest people back home aren’t your family, call whoever they are—best friends, teachers you loved, extended family or anyone else. It’s important to remember that even when you may not have a strong network of people physically around you for a while at the beginning of college, there are always people out there who love and support you.
College is difficult as it is, but being away from home is definitely a challenge. Just remember that challenges are opportunities for growth and growth can take time! Even if it feels impossible at first, one day you’ll wake up and realize you are at home right where you are.