Hi! How are you? I miss you. Why don’t you call? How’s school? Did you do your homework?
I feel so bad sometimes. This is the age I should be near you to guide you and help you, but here I am, 130 miles away from you, at college. I want to be able to sit down with you and help you with your math homework. I want to take you to the basketball court after school and I want to be there to see your every performance at school.
I won’t lie to you and say it’s easy, because I know I make it look like it is. I tell you I’m busy with classes, homework and meetings, and that is why I do not call, but in reality I know I will never want to hang up if I start. Don’t get me wrong; I love hearing about your day and how tennis practice is going, but sometimes I feel guilty for not doing enough. I still remember when I surprised you a couple weekends ago; it was really late and you were already asleep, but you sprung off the bed and hugged me till we cried. And obviously, our cute moment ended when we fought over the TV remote the next morning.
Even though I am far from you, and I do not see you or talk to you every day, there are a few things I need you to know.
I worry about you
I worry when mom says you did badly on a test. I worry when I hear you fell while playing outside. I even worry when I look at the time and remember you’re walking back home alone. Just because I am far does not mean I stopped caring; the distance has actually made me care more. It’s different now, because I am no longer five minutes from your school; I cannot just pick you up when you’re feeling sick. And because I care, I need you to take care of yourself. I need you to focus in school and behave always. Do it for me.
You inspire me
When I am tired and I just want to stay in bed, you come to mind. You inspire me to do well on my tests and in my organizations, because I want you to be proud of me. I know it might be weird coming from an older sister, because you should be inspired by me, but it’s true. I stay up late when I need to, and I try my best because hearing “good job” from you feels better than any A on an exam.
I’m proud of you
I cannot begin to explain how proud I feel when mom or dad tells me you stood up for a friend, or you got a good grade. I know how much pressure I put on you to do well in school, and win tennis tournaments, but despite all of that, I am proud of you. I am proud when you try your best even if you fail or lose, and I always will be.
I miss fighting with you
I know I always win, but you have to admit that some of our best times were when we were fighting. Whether it was for the remote or where to go for dinner, I think about those moments now. I laugh to myself remembering when I sat on you because you hid my phone, or when I hid your basketball and you chased me around the house till we were out of breath. I cherish those moments more than you think.
You’re practically my older brother
You’re eight years younger than me but yet you get protective of me; you defend me even when I am at fault, and when I fall asleep in the car you let me rest my head on your lap. I value that you can go from my little, cute brother, to my older bodyguard when you know I need it.
No matter how far we are from each other, I want you to remember these five things, along with the biggest one; I love you. Remember these, and 130 miles has nothing on us!