Why I'm Terrified of Dogs

My vision got blurry and my breath shortened. I would never forget seeing its sharp teeth and blood rushing down my arm. I vividly remember me shielding myself and trying to hold back my sense of fear from the dog. Surprisingly, it worked and it ran away. I was only 9-years-old when this traumatic experience took place and it stays in the back of my mind constantly.

I loved Sash; my neighbor’s family dog. When they would let him outside to play I never hesitated to entertain him. Sash was loveable in my eyes, but that day I don’t know what made him so upset. Tears were rolling down my face, I ran home and told my mother what happened. She did the best she could to calm me down until I looked down to see blood rushing down my arm. I remember her cleaning me up and wrapping my arm up. All I wanted is for the pain and blood to stop instantly, however, mentally I was so mad. To take my mind off the situation I remember my mom getting me candy and letting me eat boatloads of it. July 15, 2016 will always be a day I always remember.

I’m 18-years-old now and the sight of a dog causes me to panic. I try to keep as much distance as possible when I see one. It can be on a leash, and I still think about their teeth being a powerful weapon. Not to mention their tongue being long and slimy and their claws scratching you. The excessive barking of a dog makes me fearful because to me I instantly think they’re mad. They could be barking because they’re playing, but I don’t see things in that light anymore. All of these thoughts race into my mind, which has caused me to turn myself away.

I always think about opening myself up to petting dogs and playing with them, but the thought of Sash hinders me from doing so. The events of July 15 cause me to ask my friends to lock their dogs up in their cages when I come over because I don’t want to be around one. July 15 ruined the thought of me wanting to be a veterinarian when I was little. I always think when I grow up and have a family, "What if my child wants a dog?" Do I say no because of my frightning experience or say yes and toughen up? That will be years down the line but I honestly just don’t know.

For everyone that has wondered why I’m so scared of dogs, I hope you’re reading this. For everyone that has probably judged me, I hope you’re reading this. There is no happy ending to my story, besides the fact my scar is now gone. My perception of dogs may differ from others but until I’m over my fear that’s alright with me.

               

image credit