What to Do If Your Sexual Partner Isn't Pleasing You

Sex can be a very difficult topic to talk about with a sexual partner. Most people enter into sexual encounters hoping that it will be enjoyable for all parties involved, but that ideal scenario does not always come to fruition. Oftentimes, women in particular have their needs either disregarded or unfulfilled during sexual encounters. Many times women feel uncomfortable telling their partner that they didn't have an enjoyable experience so they just suffer through and pretend to enjoy it. Women have just as much of a right to enjoy sex as anyone else, and we need to advocate for our own pleasure if we ever want to have an orgasm. Here are four tips to help you communicate with your partner about your needs and desires so that you can be sexually satisfied! 

  1. 1. Don't Fake Your Orgasms 

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    You can't expect your sex life to get better if you never communicate that you are unsatisfied with the way that it is now. If you are pretending to enjoy sex with a partner when you actually are not enjoying it at all, they are not going to know that they need to change anything. If you are unresponsive to their actions during sex, it will be a lot clearer to your partner that you are not enjoying it. Yes, it may be awkward and seem kind of mean to visibly show you aren't having the best time, but you're doing yourself a disservice by pretending. If your partner doesn't seem to notice that you aren't responding to their actions or they don't seem to care that you aren't having a good time, then you should find another partner. If they are aware that you aren't being satisfied and don't do anything to try to rectify that, then that means they are not going to put in any effort to improve your sexual experience, and you should seek pleasure elsewhere. 

  2. 2. Explore Your Own Body 

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    It can be difficult to communicate with your partner about what is and isn't working sexually if you aren't sure what you actually like. Just saying something isn't working without giving recommendations for improvement will only help if the other person is willing to take the time to discover what brings you pleasure. While they should be willing to do this, it just makes the process move more swiftly if you already have an idea what you like. Now, this doesn't have to necessarily mean you have past sexual experience to draw from; it could just mean that you are familiar with the way your own body functions. Yeah, that's right, I'm talking about masturbation. Not everyone is comfortable masturbating, and some people can't make themselves experience an orgasm without a partner involved, but if you are comfortable doing so, you should give masturbation a shot. It can help you learn the ins and outs of your body so that you can more easily guide your partner and tell them what to do differently. 

  3. 3. Be Vocal During Sex

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    Tell your partner when they're doing something right, tell them when they're doing something wrong, and even tell them when they have basically done nothing at all. Be their guide in your journey to pleasure and communicate the way that they are making you feel. Something very important to remember is that you should not tear down your partner while being vocal. Be honest, but don't attack their ability. Just help them understand the way that you're feeling in a gentle and encouraging manner. The idea is for them to want to continue to try to help you achieve an orgasm, and they may not be inclined to do so if they feel ridiculed.  

Sex is a learning experience and you may not get the results you want immediately. However, I hope these tips will help you figure out how to communicate with your partner more effectively and eventually lead to you having an improved sex life!