Let’s talk about sex. No, actually, let’s finally talk about sex. In group settings, we tend to see a large difference between how women talk about sex versus how men talk about it. Contrary to popular belief, women want to talk about sex too! They just don’t know how to. Coming into college, you are exposed to such a large group of people, all with different experiences and all with different views on sex. I’ve realized from meeting and talking with the women that I have met in college, it seems like women have a really hard time opening up about what sex means to them.
Casually talking about sex is not something that society teaches women to do. From a young age, it is put into the minds of girls that talking about sex means you’re a “slut.” We all know that this is far from the truth, and the harm that this causes women is inexplicable. Women will go into their adult lives feeling trapped inside their own sexual experience, rarely asking questions. Google is the best source of information regarding sex for a lot of women, and while it is still super important to Google things about your sexual health, it can also be nice to just call up a friend and ask about it. Most of the time, things you experience in your young adult sexual life are also things that the people you surround yourself with are experiencing too. Conversations about contraception, sex positions, casual hookups and all other sexual things should be okay to be talked about in your circle! I was struggling with what was the right birth control for me, never knowing that the side effects I was experiencing. This could have been easily fixed by a quick switch to a birth control one of my friends was using! Discussing birth control with friends is a really great way to ease into conversations that may seem awkward at first.
There are a million ways to talk about sex. It doesn’t have to be like the way it’s always portrayed in movies with girls at a sleepover in custie pajamas giggling about boys on a twin-sized bed. It can be as easy as grabbing a coffee with a friend or calling somebody up whenever you have a question or just want to talk. Nobody should feel alone about the things going on in their lives, and that includes sex!
Normalizing sexual discussions with your girlfriends is so important because women tend to think that things they like, things they don’t like or just things in general about their sex lives are weird or out of the ordinary. The old stigma that women somehow never talk about sex while men are talking about it all the time doesn’t even make sense. Sexual experiences involve two people, but most often, we only ever hear from one. You are just as much a part of sex as your partner, and while society has made it much easier for one group to discuss sex, it is never too late to start having conversations that get into the nitty-gritty.