For the majority of my school life, I had myself convinced that the key to success was to keep your nose in a book, to put off your own needs for your professor and boss’s requests, to put the appearance of your resume over the happy memories in your head.
Growing up, I surrounded myself with like-minded people, people who motivated me to be my best and keep me busy. After all, there’s nothing worse than not being productive, right? After semester after semester, I began to feel a little dizzy from my world constantly spinning. I had to revisit my needs and wants in life and wonder why I was driving myself crazy with 16 hour days, impossibly high expectations of myself and an agenda that was filled with ink.
After ending relationships and friendships because I could never find the time for them, after missing out on birthday parties, sleep, and not being able to remember the last time I had “me time” was, I had to make a change. I had not slept well, worked on a hobby, or had a fun day in a long time, and frankly, my body needed to a break from all the caffeine I ingested in order to push it to do the impossible every day.
What is our obsession with being busy? Are we afraid to have a moment alone with ourselves? Are afraid of failure and believe the only way of achieving it is running around like a hamster on a wheel?
That being said, I love my major, I thrive in my classes and I enjoy my extra curriculars. However, when saying “I haven’t slept or eaten in days” becomes a bragging right, it’s time to put the pen down and rest. I insisted upon small, simple, daily ways to give myself a break and practice self-love. An extra five minutes of rest here, going to the gym instead of studying past my limit, or replacing a task with time to yourself. I once had myself convinced that “self-love” was working hard so that you can get the reward later, but that might not necessarily be true. It is crucial to find a balance, self-love might not mean avoiding all responsibilities and eating cookies all day, but you cannot take care of anything unless you take care of yourself first.
Once I implemented these changes, which I am still working on, I began to learn a lot more about myself. I found qualities within myself that surprised me, such as talents and interests I had neglected out of being too busy. Some of it was uncomfortable changes, like turning down offers when I was used to handling everything, or putting sleep before work, but I can already begin to feel it pay off. I’m regaining my happiness, my focus and the dark circles under my eyes are vanishing.
In a world that pushes us to do better, move faster, work harder and never give up (all good things in moderation), I still know plenty of people who could benefit from taking a break and adjusting their priorities in life. Everyone works differently and expects different outcomes, so it’s not easy to say that everyone should stop being busy. However, it would be nice if you insisted upon a decent night’s sleep and a little brain break now and then, wouldn’t it?