I entered into my sophomore year of college as the COVID-19 pandemic was still in its first year. The thing about my experience of college during that time is that because of my studio classes for my fashion design major being in person, I was forced to move back to Richmond to a university campus that was a mirror image of a ghost town. The only taste of online school that I got was the second half of the spring semester during my freshman year.
Being nearly by myself the entire school year took a really big toll on my mental health. I was able to see my friends that still lived in Richmond on some weekends, but the heavy demand of my studio classes kept me in my room, sewing and patternmaking into the very late hours of the night. Four of us lived in an on-campus apartment, but by October 2020, two of them moved out, and I almost never saw my third roommate because of her work schedule. Many of those late nights, either at the studio or in my bedroom, working on assignments that felt that were never-ending, lead to multiple breakdowns and hours crying.
Before the start of this fall semester, I made it a major goal of mine to try and make this semester so much better than last year. I was very optimistic about that goal… until I had to move into my apartment. It was a very hectic move in, and it weighed heavy on my mind, but I try to keep a positive mindset.
I knew that junior year was going to be one of the most intense years of my college years, especially being a fashion design major. After the first week of class, I felt as if I had just sped-ran the entire fall semester in just four days. As August ended and September went on, I felt in such a deep and dark place that nothing I did was good, and I felt exhausted all the time.
My appetite was almost nonexistent that I was having one meal a day, and I felt like taking a nap every five minutes. I don’t know if this was the effect of not being able to have actual human interaction last semester or if my mental health has deteriorated so badly that I felt numb. Either way, the same burnt-out feeling that I feel at the beginning of November after midterms is the same that I am feeling and have been since the beginning of September. However, I do see the light at the end of the tunnel and am actively trying to make things better.
If you feel the same as I do, please talk to someone and seek help. These past two years have not been easy for anyone, and there is someone out there that knows exactly how you feel.