Being a young adult is full of ups and downs. It’s that weird time in between childhood and adulthood where you have one foot in both worlds. You’re expected to know everything yet know nothing at all. On top of trying to figure out how to function as an independent adult, you’re also balancing being a student, having a job and maintaining a social life. It’s extremely easy to neglect your mental health during these times.
This semester has been extremely challenging for me. I found that my mental health was quickly deteriorating, yet I didn’t have the time or energy to work on fixing it. I also believed I had too much work to do, and that was more important. That idea quickly changed when I found that the state of my mental health was now preventing me from getting anything done, including school. I was too stressed and mentally drained to get anything done, which in turn was causing me more stress. The buildup of work was becoming too much to handle.
Growing up, I was always able to manage my mental health as well as maintain my grades and social life. I remember being a straight-A student while being involved in many different social groups. So when I started struggling with my grades and my mental health, I felt like a failure. When my advisor suggested I drop a class that was causing me a lot of anxiety and where I was receiving poor grades, I was horrified.
I had never gotten less than a B in a class, much less had to choose between failing or dropping. At the same time, I was questioning my entire future career choice. I felt like I had lost that driven, hardworking girl who always had a plan. I had gone from straight-A student to someone who didn’t even have the energy to do laundry. Those feelings of being lost and a failure were starting to eat me alive.
However, I realized that I was not caring for myself and my mental health in the way that I should. I was not being kind and understanding to myself. Instead, I was beating myself up for things that were completely normal and not giving myself a break.
I ended up dropping the class, but now I was more optimistic. I could replace it with something that sparked my interest and passion much more next semester. The time that I had spent in that class could now go towards working out or towards something that gave me joy. It also took a big weight off of my shoulders. I was a lot less anxious in general now that I did not have that class to worry about and would have more time during the week to do things that weren’t work or school.
Moving forward, I decided to be a lot easier on myself. As nice as a career and money are, it means nothing if your mental health is not there. You and your happiness are more important than any grade or anything else. If you find yourself becoming overwhelmed, especially with school, it is absolutely okay to take a step back. You are not a failure for deciding that you need to focus on yourself or that now is not the time to do something. The idea that quitting makes you a failure is wrong. Sometimes quitting is the best decision you can make for yourself.
In the instance that you do take a step back, dedicate that new free time to bettering yourself. If you had to step back from a school commitment because you were too overwhelmed, spend that time maintaining a calendar or working on assignments. If you were too overwhelmed by social commitments, dedicate that time towards having an at-home spa day or reading a book. Whatever helps you feel calm and less overwhelmed is not a waste of time.
Many people are taught that they have to suffer. They believe that they have to stick with the job they hate or just push through with school, even at the cost of their mental health. They also believe that they have to maintain the company of people that do not have positive energy and don’t care about them. You never should feel like you need to suffer to be successful. If you are unhappy in a situation, you can and should remove yourself from it. It is the kindest thing that you can do for yourself, and most likely, you’ll find that it’ll open the gateway for even greater future success.
Life is going to be full of struggles, especially as you start maneuvering adulthood. Make sure that you are being kind to yourself and putting your mental health first. We only have room for what makes us happy and helps us grow; if something in your life is preventing you from that, you are never a failure for letting the negativity go.