We hear you. We remember you. Every time you walk by us on the street, or you get on the elevator, your words run through our minds. The words you thought would make people around you laugh have given you an unforgettable title, and being a woman, there are few things I would like to ask you about.
What made you think it was funny? Was it that 1 in 5 collegiate women are sexually assaulted? Is it that every 107 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted? Maybe it is none of those; maybe it is the fact that 82% of rapes are done by a non-stranger. Â
Did you think about who is hearing your joke before you said it? Considering the 1 in 5 women fact, there was a high chance that among the many people around you, at least one felt targeted personally. You making a joke on something that has scarred them or has made them afraid shows them that you feel like what happened to them is okay. The man and woman near you who experienced that terrible feeling now feels targeted.
Would you have made the joke if the issue was personal? God forbid, someone close to you, family or friend, was sexually assaulted, would you have been comfortable hearing a joke like that, nevertheless, saying one? Now, think about someone near you whose best friend, brother, girlfriend, or even mom was assaulted; can you even comprehend the anger and pain your words must have caused them?
Now my last question, did you think your joke was worth it? I hope you’ve been answering these questions in your head and by now you realize the gravity of your joke. Joking about sexual assault is just as bad as letting the guy take the drunken girl up to his bedroom or letting that sneaky lady drug that man’s drink. Joking about the weeks, months and years of trauma and self-hate is just as bad as letting it all happen in front of you.
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I hope you read my words and think. I hope the next time you want to joke about something this serious; you stop and remember how many people are affected by this daily. I hope you don’t find it “funny” anymore.Â
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