To the person who doesn’t have a friend group,
You are not a loser and you are not alone. I wish that I had known those things sooner.
Where I grew up it seemed like everyone had had a set group of friends since elementary school. These were people to go to school events with, to go to games with, to meet up with in between classes. Now don’t get me wrong, I have a few really good friends, but I have never had that friend group experience. Although it devastated me growing up, I have learned that not being a part of a friend group isn’t something to feel sorry for yourself about.
In high school, I had friends who were each part of different friend groups. I had a few friends in the arts, friends who played sports, friends who were considered “popular” and so on. This made things such as finding a place to sit at lunch, or even people to stand with at football games a little uncomfortable because I was always around people I didn’t really fit in with in order to be with the one person who I did fit in with. At the time, I hated it. I was jealous of those who had the comfort of always having a group of friends to fall back on for everything. I remember crying to my mom after my freshman orientation for high school, explaining to her how friends were sitting together in groups in the auditorium, and when I walked in, I felt so lost as to who to sit with. I felt so alone when in fact, I wasn’t at all.
Now that I am in college and I am far more independent than I was a few years back, I have realized that stressing over not having a friend group was useless. I have learned to be happy alone, and to not take for granted the few amazing friends that I do have. I feel that not having a friend group has made me more of an individual, as I didn’t really have the constant pressure to fit in with a set group of people. Even if I wanted to fit in then, I’m glad that I never actually tried to become someone I wasn’t just to fit in with a group of people who I didn’t actually connect with. It’s okay to have a ton of friends, but it’s also important to remember that it’s also okay to only have a few.
Who knows, maybe one day you and I will find our people, or maybe we will continue to jump around from group to group. Just do you. It’s all that matters.
Sincerely,
The girl who has never been part of a friend group
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