There comes a time in our lives when people we grew up with and love begin to leave the earth for a variety of causes. For me, however, I thought that wouldn’t start to happen until I began to turn old. This past year, I’ve realized things happen at any time and not to take life for granted at any moment in time. Not only that, but I’ve learned to really cherish the people I have in my life because you never know when things can change. For me, I was able to have that wake-up call when I lost you.
To the friend I lost too soon,
I hope you realize not a day goes by that I don’t think about you. Not only me but all of us. Your loss was a wake-up call to the seriousness of your illness and how serious it should be taken. It was a phone call I did not expect to receive, a moment I truly will never be able to forget.
June 27, 2016, a night that I thought would be just another typical summer night. I was at my grandmother’s church assisting her and my mom with Vacation Bible School, so at the time my phone was put away. The second I had a break to check it, I had an overwhelming amount of phone calls and texts. I excused myself from the room full of people having a feeling of anxiety and fear come over me, not knowing what to do first. “What could possibly be happening?” I thought, before calling back one of my friends in a panic, hoping she was okay, turns out she was— she just wanted to know if I was okay. In those few minutes, my mind was in a swirl. Hearing the words “he’s gone” took me into a feeling I don’t think anyone can ever be prepared to experience. An immediate rush of tears overcame. I didn’t know how to function, trying to be as normal as possible in public. Going home was hard that night, constant phone calls and texts I was receiving making it hard to not think about it. That next week was the hardest, a feeling of emptiness and flashbacks to high school that now seemed so long ago. Luckily, I had the support from others and mutually supported those that felt the same way I did.
The reason this came as such a shock to me is because just a week before, I went out to lunch with a mutual friend and he told me how well you were doing and how happy he was that you were reaching out to get professional help. I’m still so proud of you for wanting that for yourself even though it was not carried out. I will never think of you any less. I don’t personally know the struggle of battling an addiction, but I can sympathize in every way. I know how hard it got for you, feeling left out and feeling as though nobody cared even though we did and always will care about you. Seeing your tweets on social media, saying how alone you would feel sometimes but believe me you never were.
You were the light of so many lives and just know that will never go away. I’m sad that as friends we could not do more for you, but I’m glad you’re in a better place and no longer in misery. Thank you for making my high school years so great, those four years I got to know you so well and wouldn’t have changed that for the world. Your humor and big goofy smile will always be remembered. Continue to watch over us.
Lots of love for you,
Photo taken by Ricky Cambridge