We have all had our world turned upside down during this election season. The last few weeks have been a crucial time in American history, but they have also taken a toll on our personal lives, and I think we have a hard time admitting that. Many of us have been closely watching the polls, crunching the numbers, crossing our fingers and all-around hoping for the best. Along with this time of change in American politics, like any other historical change, comes difficult conversations. I have been told many times over the past few weeks that “it’s okay to disagree” or that “politics shouldn’t be involved in friendship,” but for me, it was time to cut some people off.
Being a young black woman in America, there are lines that I refuse to cross with friendships. During this election year, I had to make some really tough decisions about what I was going to take and where I drew the line. The deeper we got into this election, the more and more I found myself asking who my real friends were. The people who stand by me and my rights and the people who think racism isn’t a deal-breaker. Growing up in a rural town in Virginia, with very few people around that looked like me, it took me a really long time to figure out how I should be treated by people that I call my friends. While being at college, I have found people who respect me and love me for who I am, a black woman. That being said, not everyone I have met in my life has respected me in that way. It came down to this election year for me to figure out who needed to stay in my life, and honestly, it hasn’t been easy.
The people who I have removed from my life weren’t strangers, and it’s okay to feel sad about losing people who played a role in your life, no matter how small. The most difficult part about it for me has been the realization that although they played a part in my life, they were no longer helping me grow as a person and that we have fundamentally different views on basic human rights. I also struggled with the urge to argue constantly. It’s hard because, on one hand, I wanted so badly for them to understand that their support of someone who doesn’t respect me as a person, in turn, is a vote against my existence, but on the other hand, having to explain that to someone who is supposed to be a close friend is hurtful in of itself. In times like these, where cutting people out of my life is necessary, I rely on the people I trust, the people who know what it means to be a black person in America right now, my family and everyone who I have met in college who has my back during this political climate.
Although it’s hard, I have felt a weight lifted off my shoulders since cutting these people off. To me, there is no agreement to disagree in this current situation. There is no friendship while still disagreeing because the disagreement has to do with fundamental human rights.